Monday Musings with a Drunken Monkey

It has been said that if you gave a room full of monkeys a bunch of typewriters, they would eventually write the whole works of Shakespeare. I gave a monkey a bottle of tequila and my blackberry this weekend. Let’s see how he did.

I wonder how much of a difference Purell would have made in the life of Lady MacBeth ? She seems like a natural spokesperson.

Hey Madison Avenue, I want my 10% when you steal my idea.

Was Hester Prynne actually fashion forward or was Laverne De Fazio just a clueless copycat ?

Leftover thin sliced prime rib, sharp cheddar & Gold's Horseradish Spread pressed in a loaf of fresh ciabbatta bread made for an excellent sunday night dinner. Roasted vegetables leftovers can be blended into a quick soup later today.

Saw a Goth Girl driving a black car with a bumper sticker that said "Yes Wiccan". I think she put a spell on me when I passed her because I hit 3 straight red lights after that.

Got the dirt turned & the topsoil/mulch combo spread in the swampgarden just before the heavy rains came last night. I am taking a less is more approach to my garden this year. Raspberry & blackberry bushes both show early growth, green & buds. I need to add at least one more of each along with more strawberries. The trees I took out last fall should help with the afternoon sun in this section.

I don’t think a Kahuna sized cup of coffee could have helped me this morning.

“Up In Smoke” came on the other morning while I was jogging on the Dreadmill of Doom and all I could think was like “whoa….”.

I hope the Amazon Birthday Fairy remembers to get me that one for my birthday.

The Boston Marathon must be coming up because I have seen the Little Jog Mom out running every morning since we got back from Maui. I am still writing my post about Maui just in case you were interested.

Loved the Richard Alpert episode of LOST. There is a Desmond-centric/slideways episode coming up in 2 weeks.

God invented voicemail for a reason and some people just can’t seem to grasp that concept.

Boondoggle Week seemed like a good idea when it was first planned. Now it just seems like a waste of time. I better grab a good book or two for all of my flights every which way.

James Lee Burke sure made Hackberry Holland a very difficult character to give a rat’s ass about in the first half of “Lay Down My Sword & Shield”. I had to keep reminding myself that this book was written in 1970 and not today. The character did grow on me as he started down the Dave Robicheaux path of redemption. The sequel, “Rain Gods”, just became more interesting to me now that I can see how the character has grown in the almost 40 years since his debut.

Butler, West Virginia, Michigan State & Duke – it does sound more like a pre-season holiday tournament than a Final Four but games leading up to this point have been outstanding to watch.

My New York Rangers however, have been less than outstanding to watch and it pains me to know that they have my playoff money hostage when they clearly are not going to make the playoffs.

Part 2 of a 2 part Castle tonight – too bad I missed Part 1. Hello Hulu !

And that is the view for now from Behind The Shades on this rainy Monday….swampy abides…

Can I Kahuna Size That For You ?

During our recent trip to Maui, thanks in no small part to the efforts made by my darling swamprat daughters, who have never met a store they couldn’t shop in, we accumulated enough frequent shopper points for me to get a new travel coffee mug for my car. It’s kind of cheesy in a fun sort of way in that it has a 60’s style surfer and an old Woody on it. It’s not just big. It’s Kahuna sized. It holds 50% more than my old Iditarod mug that a friend picked up for me in Walsilla. I guess they were sold out of Sarah Palin mugs. So now I am knocking back even more of my Community Coffee w/ Chicory & Café Bustelo combo on the way to the morning train. I don’t think anyone is going to want to get into my way. It also got me thinking and as we all know, that can be a dangerous thing at times.

If I ever owned a restaurant or a diner, I would have to have something on the menu that had the word “Kahuna” in it. It could be Kahuna Ribs or a Kahuna Burrito or a Kahuna Burger or even some Kahuna Pie which would have to be a slice about 8 inches high and at least a quarter of the whole pie. I could have the servers asking patrons if they wanted to “Kahuna size” their purple molokai sweet potato fries. I could also have a “Kahuna Khallenge” and invite Adam Richman from “Man vs Food” come in to take the Kahuna Khallenge and make me a cult favorite with foodies & gluttons everywhere. I can just see it now – “Swampy’s Big Kahuna – home of the Kahuna Khallenge”.

Now Kahuna would also be a great word to be used in a coffee shop. No more of that pretentious Venti or Grande crap. The largest cup you could get would be a Kahuna. I can just hear it now. “Dude, gimme a triple skinny no foam soy Kahuna frappuccino.” I would throw them right out of the shop. Nobody needs to use that many words to ever order a cup of coffee. Triple & Kahuna would be the only extra words allowed to be said. I would even hire HUGE EMPLOYEE and dress him up like a GIANT TIKI and have him stand by the cash register so he could enforce the rule. Kahuna Kona Koffee Ko. would rule the koffee world and Starcrooks could kiss my Kahuna sized butt !!!

Okay, I think maybe someone has had a few too many kahuna sized schooners of koffee this so I am going to have to say that this the view for now from Behind The Shades…..swampy abides…

A Fox Named George

I awoke on Sunday to an absolutely beautiful spring day for the northeast. The sky was blue and the air was warm. I knew that after the warmth & rain of the last two weeks that the ground that had never really frozen hard this winter would start to be soft & pliable. I knew it was going to be a great day to start working on the 2010 version of my vegetable garden.

I have a large garden out back at the edge of my yard back by the brook. I have outsized expectations every year for my farming prowess but that discussion is for another time. Be that as it may, I was out in the garden turning the dirt by hand with my four pronged Hound Dog T-Square Garden Cultivator while listening to silence all around me. It was filled with the birds chirping, the brook babbling and the occasional Sunday driver cruising our dead end street. I could feel the breeze that was lightly moving the branches in the trees above me causing them to make a slight clicking sound. I could sense more than hear the occasional jet passing by overhead on it’s approach into the New York area. Suddenly the afternoon exploded with the sounds of our neighbor’s two dogs barking & yapping as loudly and as much as I had ever heard them. My first inclination was that they had seen a wayward squirrel or that perhaps a deer had wandered onto their side of the brook but the barking became louder & more persistent. I began to wonder if perhaps they had something cornered. The smaller of the two dogs seemed to be especially agitated. His yapping was reaching an unprecedented crescendo.

It was at that moment that a fox with a fantastic golden red coat and thick white tipped tail slipped out of the bushes on the far side of the clearing down by the brook. I knew this particular fox as I had seen him many times before as I gazed out my kitchen window with my coffee mug in hand. I called him George. He had what looked like a small rabbit in his mouth. George stopped just as he emerged from the brush and he looked at me. Then he looked back at the distant sound of the still barking dogs and then he looked back at me again. I hadn’t moved. Our eyes met for just a second before he darted across the clearing and disappeared into the tangle of overgrown brush. A minute later I caught a quick glance of George through the trees. He was on the other side of the brook and he was briskly heading for the field on the far side of the woods. The barking finally slowed and then stopped. I went back to turning the dirt and listening to the silence with a bemused smile as I thought of how George had once again given his pursuers the slip.

So I chose my fox tie today as a subliminal tip of the hat to George.

That’s the view for now from Behind The Shades….swampy abides…

Returning to a Simpler Time

My father & I were sitting around his kitchen table the other day discussing a little bit of this & a little bit of that and really nothing of any great importance. Just the kind of talk I like having with my Dad when I haven’t seen him in a while. We laughed. We joked. We remembered. My 4 ½ year old son sat there between us plowing through his red pepper slices & his bag of apple slices with a touch of lemon so they wouldn’t brown. His eyes shifted back & forth between us as he watched & listened. I hope that some day I have those same kinds of talks with him.

While we were talking, the subject of the local college basketball team came up. They were better this year than they had been in some time and while they obviously aren’t going to make the “Big Dance” there is an outside shot that they might get an invite to the NIT. They won the NIT in 1975 back when it still mattered and wasn’t the also ran hoopfest that it is today. We remembered how we had been on vacation on a tropical island at the time and that it took a couple of days to get a score for a game. Al Gore had inspired “Love Story” by then but he hadn’t yet invented the internet. Getting world or local news wasn’t as easy as a point & a click. I truly think that the waiting & the anticipation made both the victories sweeter & the defeats more painful. In some ways, you just didn’t want to know and you just didn’t need to know right then. The world wasn’t going to end or even be somewhat more dramatically different if it took a little longer to find something out.

I mention all this because I am headed out on a vacation with my own family to a tropical island. Only it’s not 1975 anymore, it’s 2010 and with that comes all of the gadgetry and need to know now technology of our modern day world. I am truly excited that I am actually going to get to watch LOST via satellite on the plane as I fly over the Pacific. (I checked, my flight number is not 815 or 316 – bummer) However when I get to our final destination I have decided (with the help of – okay threat from – my wife) to return to that simpler time. My blackberry is going into the safe in our room. It’s not going to be turned on. Work will survive without me. There are plenty of people back in the office who are completely capable of handling my job for the 9 days that I am gone. The world will not come to an end.

Tomorrow I am getting on a plane with my wife & 3 kids. I’ll check back in when I get back. I am sure we will have some stories to share about a little bit of this & a little bit of that and really nothing of great importance but they can wait. The stories may not get any better with age but you will still be able to drink them in.

And that is the view for now from Behind The Shades…swampy abides...aloha

A Conversation About What I'm Not Sure

I live in a fairly small town out in the country and like most small towns, we seem to have our share of local flavor mixed in. That’s not to say that big cities don’t have their own brand of eccentrics but they aren’t quite as endearing as the small town types. In fact, some of them are downright scary. I should know, I work in New York. But that is neither here nor there because there is nothing scary about this particular local character. The only thing he has ever been known to kill is the few free minutes you may have had as you raced about trying to get your errands done.

 

Now I had just come out of the drugstore with my Sunday copies of the NY Daily News & NY Post. I’ll buy them but I won’t have them delivered. Have to keep up appearances for the neighbors you know. When suddenly I heard someone call my name. I am generally not rude enough to pretend that I didn’t hear a person call my name so even though I definitely recognized the voice, I turned to say hello and there he was. Let’s just call him Peter.

 

“Hey Peter. How are you ? I haven’t seen you in a while.” I said with a smile that did not befit the thought in my mind that I was now going to be stuck for the next 10-20 minutes.

 

“I’m fine Mr. Nomo. I’m fine. You know I saw you at Shop-Rite a while back with one of your daughters but I didn’t say hello.” He said earnestly.

 

“You no doubt did. I am there a bit too much. You should have said hi.” I replied.

 

“Now Nomo, that’s an Irish name, isn’t it ?” he asked as though we hadn’t changed topics.

 

“No, it’s actually Welsh.” I began to wonder where this was going and how long it was going to take to get there.

 

“Ah, Welsh. Well you still have some Celt in you. You know I’m Irish but the spelling of my last name is English because when my ancestors came over it was better to be English than Irish so we added a W.” He began to ramble.

 

“I see.”

 

“So I’m still Irish though you would think I was English.” He smiled.

 

“I’m a little bit of everything myself Peter except for Italian. I let my wife handle that part for the kids.” I knew I had said too much but somehow it came out anyway.

 

“But you still have some Irish in you.” He beamed. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I have maybe enough Irish in me to spit. “You know I got up shaved, showered, made my coffee and got out the door today in 45 minutes.”   

 

“Sounds like me getting ready for the train each morning.”

 

He ignored my reply and continued on. “Have you ever had Bailey’s Irish Cream ? I would think a Celt like you would have had it before.”

 

“Yes I have Peter but not in the 20 odd years since I quit drinking.” I was starting to begin to try and piece our conversation together and I think I was beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know I saw a couple of people come out of the drugstore, take 2 steps in our direction and then veer off across the parking lot in a circuitous manner back to their cars.

 

“Oh it’s really good. They now make an Irish Cream International Flavor Coffeemate that is almost as good as the real thing. I always buy it. I have some in my coffee mug in the truck right now.” He smiled again.

 

“Really. I haven’t tried it.” I replied.

 

“Well you really should. Like I said, it’s really good. They sell it in Shop-Rite all the way in the back by the milk.” He informed me.

 

“I’ll have to look for it. Thanks Peter.”

 

“No problem Mr. Nomo. You have a nice day. I’m kind of in a hurry. See you.” He said and with that, he was off walking across the parking lot back to his truck and I was left to wonder how seeing me set us off on the trip from Shop-Rite to names to Ireland to Coffee to Bailey’s to Coffeemate and back to Shop-Rite.

 

I have to admit that later that day when I was in Shop-Rite, I went looking for the Irish Cream Coffeemate all the way in the back by the milk but they were sold out. I guess Peter bought the last one.

 

And that is the view for now from Behind The Shades….swampy abides…

 

 

Looking For Inspiration In All The Wrong Places

A few weeks ago I declared to the handful of readers that I may or may not have that I was back and that the blogs would gush forth like before. Then I wrote nothing for a couple of weeks. What I did finally post was a hackneyed effort at what once was at best. I knew I wasn't the same writer that I had been before and to be honest I wasn't sure if that was who I wanted to be again anyway. What I needed was some inspiration and I set out to find some.

 

I first turned to the not so friendly skies above us but I have railed against the airlines before and the jokes about flying, while they continue to write themselves (too fat, too stinky), are really just the same leftover jokes and let's face it, leftovers are only good the next day. 

 

I thought about voodoo but when I checked my calendar, it looked like I won't be heading for Nawlins until late April or early May at the earliest. While you probably wouldn't miss the blogs, I really don't want to wait that long to start writing again.

 

I thought about blaming George W. Bush but I used that joke unsuccessfully in my last blog and if it wasn't funny the first time, it's probably not going to be funny a second time. It's getting overused down in Washington anyway.

 

Then I thought about going to church and praying for inspiration but that really did seem to me like an awful waste of God's time. It's not like he's not busy with other things. Besides, I every time I walk into my church they expect me to hand them a check. Of course I only really go about once a year anyway so the ratio of visits to checks really isn't that far off of 1 to 1 so I guess expecting a check when I walk in the door shouldn’t be considered crass but I do consider it to be so anyway.

 

But being in a religious frame of mind in that moment, I remembered that the Gods of Football had once answered my prayers in their own way by stomping a mudhole in me & my team so I figured that perhaps I should try contacting the Gods of Blogging. Surely this august group of coffee swilling slackers with poor eyesight from staring at their laptop monitors would be able to help me find inspiration.

 

Now I wanted to make sure that I got their attention in a crowd of other writers with nothing to write about so I grabbed a D List Celebrity from my Twitter Follow List and pitched them into the nearest lava spewing volcano. There was a poof (or was it a wisp ?) of smoke and standing before in all his toga clad glory was one of the Gods of Blogging.

 

“Dude, you rang ?” he said with obvious annoyance.

 

“Yes I did. I need some inspiration. I don’t know what to write about.” I replied.

 

“Write about what you know.” He said in a tone of voice that told me that wasn’t the first time he had used those words.

 

“But I know nothing.” I lamely responded.

 

“Exactly and you know a lot of it too !” he said and with a poof (or was it a wisp) of smoke he was gone.

 

“But…..” I stammered as I quickly grabbed another D List celebrity from my Twitter Follow List and tossed them into the lava spewing volcano in hopes of bringing him back. Alas, the second D Lister went for naught and none of the Gods of Blogging reappeared in my room.

 

So there we have it, even the Gods of Blogging had nothing to offer me other than to continue on my literary quest to write something out of nothing or was it to write nothing about something or was it to write nothing about nothing because I know I can’t write something about something because that just sounds too much like homework and I never really did a whole hell of a lot of that way back when. Guess we will just have to see what kind of nothing I write about.

 

And that is the view for now from Behind The Shades…..swampy abides

 

 

Let's Spin The Wheel & See Where We Land

In Hollywood they would be saying "Swampy Blog ! Take 2 ! Action !" because Take 1 wound up somewhere in the ether when I tried to copy & paste before saving. Like most sequels, this one most likely will not measure up to the original but let's give it a try anyway.

I just got back from another business trip and not only did I bring home the bacon but I also brought home a cold. Thanks Florida - you suck. I will however buck a current trend and blame Anita Bryant for my cold instead of George W. Bush.

I follow quite a few writers on twitter who make even 140 characters look easy & great. It's almost enough to make a hack like me long for the days of MySpace where nobody cared about grammar, spelling, punctuation or content. Almost. It has made me somewhat re-think my great airport book store novel that has yet to be finished. Let's be serious here, yet to be started.
Speaking of excellence (and certainly not my own) major tips of the cap are due to Shaun White, Lindsay Vonn & Shani Davis for delivering the Gold up in Vancouver. I suppose I should also say congrats to Evan Lysacek for stealing the gold from Plushenko. He skated one hell of a program. I am loathe to admit it but if you have seen as much figure skating as I have in my lifetime, you too could tell what jumps they are doing or falling out of when they skate.

We may be the only house in town that still has a tree in their yard lit up with Christmas lights. My lovely wife & rottem kids like it so it stays plugged in. I will admit that it does look kind of cool out their all alone in the absolute darkness of night. I think one of my resident foxes thinks so too because I saw him sitting & looking at the tree the other night though I have a feeling he was probably more interested in the birds inside the tree.

Speaking of flying, last week it was too fat to fly and this week is was too smelly to fly. I will be more than happy to help out the flight crews when they need to start figuring out who is too stupid to fly.

And while we are talking about airlines, the baggage fees are wreaking havoc inside the planes as people try to bring bigger & bigger suitcases onto the plane. My last flight saw an old woman board the plane with a bag as big as an armoire and I think her husband had the kitchen sink in his bag. I realize that being a TSA agent is a thankless job but how in God's name did these people get those bags through the screening process anyway ?

Who Dat won the SuperDuperbowl ? Who Dat predicted the Saints would win back in September ? Who Dat strained his shoulder patting himself on the back ?

How happy do you think Harry Reid really is that a president with a 3 election losing streak is coming to campaign for him ?

They sell Get Well cards. Do they sell Get Even cards too ?

The last block leading up to my office is all downhill which is quite apropos if you ask me.

And speaking of downhill, that's the direction this blog has been taking since it got deleted the first time. So that's the view for now from Behind The Shades...swampy abides

Friday Blog = Fail

I just wrote my first Friday blog in I don't know how long and Blogspot lost it. That's what I get for trying to type it straight in to save some time.

Maybe I can try again later but I am sure my train of thoughts won't be on the same track.

swampy is not abiding.....

The SuperDuperBowl Menu Review

The city of New Orleans and the whole state of Louisiana got a 74 yard head start on Mardi Gras last night when Tracy Porter stepped in front of Reggie Wayne, made off with a Peyton Manning pass and sprinted for the end zone. It was moment that will live in infamy and will be talked about for years. I wish I could say the same about my SuperDuperBowl Menu. It was good but it wasn't 43 years worth of frustration good. So let's see what I made.

1. Cubano Potato Skins - I shredded some pork & some ham (rather than thin slices), mixed in some mustard & relish (to take the place of the pickles) and topped with swiss cheese. A definite keeper for future Miami SuperDuperBowls.

2. Pulled Pork Paninis - I was in the Louisville airport the other day and saw a bottle of Wild Turkey BBQ Sauce staring at me from the shelf in the overpriced souvenir store. By the time I got to my gate it was safely ensconced in my carryon bag somewhere between my dirty shorts & socks. I pulled it out yesterday and mixed it with some shredded boneless pork ribs, sautéed vidalia onion & monterey jack cheese. Slapped it inside a mini portuguese roll and pressed them so they looked like little footballs. Nice understated taste that the kids loved. I kind of wish the Wild Turkey BBQ had a little more OOMPH to it.

3. Crawfish Cornbread (aka Crayfish Cornbread here at allrecipes.com) - I have made this once before and probably should have looked for my review or notes from that last time before I made this again. The recipe does call for a box of instant corn muffin mix so I used my Basic Corn muffins recipe from here instead. While the color is interesting, the taste is a touch flat. It could use some heat but I was reluctant to add any because of the kids. I could definitely see this somewhat polenta like cornbread serving as the base upon which a rich creole tomato based type of sauce is poured over. I still liked it and it was at it's best when it first popped out of the oven.

4. Orange Honey Chicken Wings - I have been making these for so long I can do them in my sleep. The secret ingredient is a healthy splash of Uncle Dougie's Chicken Wing Marinade. Not sure what I will do when my supply finally runs out but I am sure I will come up with something. The other ingredients include oj, honey, key lime juice & mustard. Low & slow heat makes the meat just fall off the bone.

5. Hot Asparagus Crab Dip - My lovely wife always requests one dip and every year I make something different. This year asparagus was on sale when I waltzed thru ShopRite so this year asparagus got it's turn as the main ingredient. Throw in some red pepper, red onion, lime juice, sour cream, plain yogurt, crab and a Key West seasoning blend I found a few years back and we were good to go. I threw it in the oven at the same time as the wings and it came out hot, condensed & very dippable. I probably will not see any of the leftovers on this one.

6. Cheddar Bacon Deviled Eggs - The name pretty much says it all. Why make regular deviled eggs when you can jazz them up. Again it is another recipe that actually would improve with the addition of some Chipotle Tabasco but I left it out to appease the kids.

7. Yellow Split Pea & Apple Dal with Coconut Tarka - one too may flight delays led to my reading about various pea & bean dishes in the NY Times one trip and a recipe that called for Mung Beans, Apples & Coconut Milk just jumped out at me. Now I couldn't tell you what a Mung Bean looked like if it was in front of me & labeled. On top of that, no store around me has any exotic or even different dried beans so I decided to take a slightly different direction and go for orange split peas. Well no luck on finding those either so I had resigned myself to trying with lentils though I wasn't really thrilled with that option. as it turned out, I had to make one last stop at the store for a few forgotten items and came across a lonely pack of yellow peas which soon made friends with the rest of the forgotten items in my basket. While the peas, apples & coconut milk simmered away, I made a "Tarka" of butter, ginger, scallions, lime juice, shredded coconut & turmeric. The recipe called for mint leaves (unnoticed & forgotten at the store) so I went for a dash of mint extract. The result was a very different sort of dish for my family that was liked but technically not SuperDuperBowl food. It is getting a second chance by being served over rice with the grilled chicken for dinner tonight.

8. Alligator Chili - The latest addition to the allrecipes.com family (I now have 12 recipes to my name) is a SuperDuperBowl favorite. I used yellow & red peppers and some smoked paprika in addition to the recipe on the site and once again I am going to modestly say, I smacked that sucker out of the park. If I didn't tell you it was gator, you would never know and I guarantee that you will be asking for seconds. Gator Chili will be my dinner tonight.

9. and finally, we topped it all off with a trio of mini-sundaes. I took mini-phyllo dough cups and baked them. then I scooped melon ball sized scoops of vanilla/chocolate, cookies & cream and mint chocolate chip into each cup. Drizzled Top Hat hot fudge over the trio and then topped it with whipped cream & multi colored jimmies. It looked like mardi gras in a bowl.

So that was this year's offerings for the SuperDuperBowl. I appreciate all the ideas that were floated to me on previous blogs & websites and some of those ideas will see the light of the day or the light inside my oven in the weeks to come. I am just glad that my wife was happy and that the kids ate it all too. Most of all I am THRILLED that the Saints won the SuperDuperBowl.

That's what's cooking Behind The Shades until next time when maybe we should discuss kitchen disasters. Lord knows I have had a few of those...

 

Originally posted at http://allrecipes.com/Cook/107227/BlogEntry.aspx?postid=156129

 

What's Cooking Behind The Shades - what to cook for Indy

Good morning - As we all know the New Orleans Saints are going to be playing against the Indianapolis Colts in the SuperDuperBowl down in Miami on Sunday February 7. Now picking out different apps or dishes to make to represent New Orleans & Miami is like shooting fish in a barrel. It's coming up with something to represent Indianapolis or the great state of Indiana that has me bamboozled & perplexed. So far the only Indiana things I can think of  are Corn, Milk, the Indy 500, Breaking Away, Hoosiers, Notre Dame & the Touchdown Jesus. Not exactly an "In the know" type of list, is it ?

So here is what I need from you - HELP !!!! If you have a recipe idea, I would love to hear it. If you have a theme or an inspiration I can steal & follow, bring it on. Thanks and there will be pictures & prizes on game day.

That's what's cooking behind the shades for now - 12 more days until kickoff

 

http://allrecipes.com/Cook/107227/BlogEntry.aspx?postid=152992

 

When 140 Characters Just Isn't Enough

There once was time in my life when I actually wrote a lot and it wasn’t in college despite the fact I was an English major. At least I was an English major the last time I flunked out of college. I think. Parts of the 1980’s can be a bit hazy at times but that is neither here nor there and most likely is a potential topic for another blog at another time. (It’s deja vu all over again but now I am getting way off track).

Anyway, as I was saying. I used to write a lot over at the ghetto of social networking more commonly known as MySpace. You could count on my posting at least two to three blogs a week there about football, travel, food, LOST or my real specialty - everything you could ever want to know about nothing in particular. Those were my favorite blogs to write because I tend to look at the world differently than most of the folks I know, yet in a way in which most people can relate if they twist their minds right. Certainly not unlike the way that I write 140 characters at a time on Twitter and that may be in & of itself the whole problem here.

Ever since I joined Twitter and really started tweeting last summer, I have quit writing blogs. Not entirely quit but certainly not written them with the same frequency as before. (I will pat myself on the back and point out that I did pick the New Orleans Saints to win the SuperDuperBowl last September and I did name all 34 winners in my College Bowl preview but everything thing else I have written in the past six to 9 months has been nothing more than a rehashing of stuff I had written before. Not exactly awe inspiring from either side of the page and not exactly satisfying for me.) I found that I got lazy thanks to Twitter and when a thought popped into my head, I would just spin it out in 140 characters and move on without a second thought. But it’s those second & third thoughts that I have now found that I miss the most. I have come back to the realization that sometimes 140 characters just isn’t enough. That sometimes even 140 words can’t be enough. (Don’t worry, I am nowhere near the possibility of 140 pages – that’s for my dead in the water for the past 20 years novel idea). That I really need to come back to blogging. Consider this your fair warning. Your “shot across the bow” so to speak. Swampy is back.

And that is view for now from Behind The Shades…

Revisiting Season 5 of LOST - one blog at a time

Three weeks until Season 6 of LOST begins – Three weeks until the Final season of LOST begins – Three weeks until questions begin to get answered or so we think. Last year, as I have done every year, I wrote my own blogs before reading everyone else’s more excellent blogs about what we had just seen & how I saw it. Hindsight is almost always 20/20 or better and as I have started rewatching season 5, I thought I would go back and take a look at what I was thinking at that time too. I am not horribly wrong a lot of the time and not entirely right either. I am just a fan who doesn’t read spoilers, doesn’t play the off season games and doesn’t look for anything that is not actually shown to us on the screen. With that being said, here is my blog covering the 2 episode Season 5 premier from last year. have fun telling me how stupid I am….

 

Thanks to a heavy dose of real life in my real life I never quite got around to writing down the LOST blog for the season opening 2 hours that I had banging around in my head and now with episode 3 bearing down on us, I thought I should get a few quick thoughts down for us to all ponder…

 

PREVIOUSLY ON LOST… - easily the best 3 words spoken on TV…

 

I had that clock back in middle school – yes, I’m old…

 

Skipping record – symbolism & foreshadowing all wrapped up in one – of course it is always easier to see after the fact…

 

OSAMA BIN JACK – pill addiction has not been kind to Jack – I still wish he had jumped off the bridge…when last we saw Jack he was looking at the dead body of John Locke and Benjamin Linus had appeared on the scene. Now it’s Jack’s job to try and get the gang together and put on a show in the old barn, oops – I mean, and get them ALL (including a dead Locke) to return to the island. Good luck with that - Kate hates him almost as much as I do & Hurley is at Shady Acres and doesn’t trust Jack. Even when Jack cleans himself up, he looks like hell. If I worked at a hospital, I would never let him anywhere near a medicine cabinet, so I am stunned that no one tried to stop him when he brought in the dead Pakistani on the couch. I am glad that Jack has been shown to be wrong and I will kill the writers & producers if they have Jack be the hero in the end…

 

KATE – she will never go back to the island – especially after Claire came to her in a dream (which may have been reality but on this show, who knows ?) - so when the lawyers show up at the door demanding a blood sample from Claire’s kid, we all know she is going run, it’s what she knows – we don’t see a lot of Kate but we do see her go to meet Sun for the first time since they left the island – Sun doesn’t blame her for saying she would go to get Jin on the freighter but not being able to do it but does she ? The accompanying flashback could be viewed that way but you can also see Jack pulling Kate back to the chopper. Could Sun be blaming Jack ? Wasn’t I talking about Kate ? Who is the mystery client that wants the blood sample ? The obvious choice is Ben so he can make Kate realize that the island is the only place she has left to run so that means it will be someone else though I don’t think it was Sun…

 

When did 323 become a Southern California area code for mobile #’s ? I didn’t think it was back in 2007…

 

SUN – she has a second conversation with Widmore only this time it is in a locked room in Heathrow Airport where she very succinctly says that she wants to kill Ben. She also talks to Kate as we mentioned before. The one thing I noticed was that Sun looked really thin & harder when her hair was up but then I would probably be that way too if I saw my husband blow up (or did he?) and had to raise a newborn child all while lying to the world and plotting revenge against Ben & her father – though I keep hoping that she will also blame Jack…

 

HURLEY – hasn’t Hurley always been the voice of the viewer and the key to our understanding ?  Will we ever find out what his numbers really mean ? Were we ever clear on why the button needed to be pushed every 108 minutes ? Would you have even a semi-normal chance at life if Cheech were your dad ? Is it any surprise that he can see & talk to dead people ? He told Sayid that if Sayid would ever need him in the future he wouldn’t be there yet there he is driving him around and then letting him be taken to Osama Bin Jack. And how about that look in his eyes as he was handcuffed by the police as a way to escape from Ben…oh yeah, Libby says hi…(second best three words on TV)

 

Neil was wearing a red shirt – any surprise when he becomes expendable ?

 

SAYID – when last we saw him, we thought he was working for Ben but based on his comments to Hurley about not trusting Ben, he may be regretting that decision. Loved it during the fight scene that he fought through a coma inducing tranquilizer dart, smacked the bad guy with the convenient frying pan in the kitchen and then killed him with a dishwasher. Yet another reason to hate washing dishes in my book. Osama Bin Jack does bring him back to life at the end of the show with a drug cocktail that he probably brews up at home everyday anyway. I really hoped that he would choke Jack to death when he came to but no such luck. I think it will have to be Sayid that somehow saves Hurley from the cops but we shall see.

 

Does Lapidus have to go back to the island too ? If Desmond goes back, does Penny have to go too ? If Penny does come with Desmond does that throw off the island’s feng shui so it skips to a Barry Manilow song ? With the island jumping back & forth in time, will Nikki & Paulo make a cameo reappearance ?

 

SAWYER & JULIET -  LOVED the first hour where Sawyer’s biggest concern, other than when & where the hell they were, was finding a shirt. He assumes the leadership role well. He interacts well with Daniel, spars well with Miles and seems to have already bonded with Juliet…and Juliet has taken a somewhat secondary role for right now but as they skip through time, I can’t see how her knowledge of the island & the Dharma stations doesn’t help them.

 

How did I not say “WEDDING RINGS !!!” as soon as I mentioned Desmond & Penny ? Well I did when I was watching it but not when I was typing it.

 

Who is the lady in the butcher shop ? When did she make it off the island ? Why did she make it off the island ? How did she make it off the island ? Haven’t we seen her before ?

 

BEN –  so he isn’t in charge ? Is the lady from the antique shop really Mrs. Jacob ? Why is she wearing Dumbledore’s robe ? Is Ben losing his touch ? He wasn’t able to talk Hurley into joining him and he even had trouble with Jack. Even butcher lady didn’t seem to have full loyalty to him. We knew his power base was crumbling back on the island but did it also translate to off the island as well ? He certainly seemed like a lackey at the end as he reported his loss of Hurley to the cops and as he begged for more than 70 hours. I don’t expect Ben to be down long. He has a way of slithering back to the top and once he gets to the island, things will be different.

 

Richard isn’t any different but then again, Richard has never been any different. I am still convinced that he one of the crew of the Black Rock. His knowledge of the island is too great.

 

DANIEL – He is first seen in the opening bumping into the video doctor (name escapes me at breakfast) down in the Orchid right after the accidental discovery of the Wheel by the construction workers. He is definitely present day Daniel (and he is the only Dharma worker with a beard) and he gazes upon the holes in the bedrock with some knowledge as to what must be done. This scene will be repeated in a future episode. Daniel is easily the most important character next to DESMOND at this point in the story. He is the only one (besides Richard) that understands what is going on right now on the island and the only one that can do something about it. If you remember from the most excellent Season 4 episode, THE CONSTANT, Daniel wrote at the end that Desmond would be his “constant” in his notebook and he remembered that before he went and knocked on the hatch door. We never did hear his mother’s name back at Oxford but we can’t help but think that it is the antiques lady. (mmm – that Red Herring was tasty)

 

And then there is LOCKE  - He finds himself alone in the jungle. He witnesses Eko’s brother’s plane crash. He gets shot by Ethan. He is given the compass that points North and that will be Richard’s “constant” once they meet again and he saves Sawyer & Juliet from the former Dharma guards in a very Others like manner as he strides from the jungle. Richard told him that in order to save the island, he will have to die. As we saw at the end of last year and the beginning of this year, Locke will make the ultimate sacrifice for the Island.

 

So where does that leave us ? It leaves us with a ton of questions and me with no time to answer them until I get delayed at the airport later today as I try to fly home into a snow & ice storm. So talk amongst yourselves. Answer each other’s questions and tell me what I missed.

 

Quietly hoping I don’t have to land in the Bay of Bayonne…swampy abides…

 

and that is the view for now From Behind The Shades……

 

 

What's Cooking Behind The Shades - Planning the SuperDuperBowl Menu

The NFL Regular Season came to end last night when the Cincinnati Bengals rather than showing up in the freezing cold for a meaningless game decided to take the night off to go see the tree in Rockefeller Center & to see who survived the plane crash on Desperate Housewives. That's all well & good but what does that have to do with cooking  or food you may ask. Well that's certainly a good question and I am just the man to answer it for you.
 
Super Bowl Sunday or as I prefer to refer to the spectacle, SuperDuperBowl Sunday, is virtually an unofficial national holiday. Friends & Family gather in front of large screen TV's with piles of food in front of them or on the buffet by the kitchen while they watch the game, the commercials and the myriad of illegal 100 square pools & various other sundry side bets they have going. The game itself is invariably remembered more often for the commercials & food than it is for the final score so it has been my goal ever since I learned how to cook for myself (thanks Mom) to have a more than impressive spread available during the viewing of the game.
 
Now when it comes to planning the menu, I begin as soon as the SuperDuperBowl is over. What worked ? What didn't ? What did I hear about in the days after the game that other people had that I want to have ? What have I tried t other parties or restaurants that could be fun to twist ? What city is hosting the SuperDuperBowl ? And of course, which two teams are playing in the big game because we need to make sure that we have some regional representation in the cuisine. So let's look at this year's teams and let's see where we might be headed since I need to start planning NOW !!!
 
NFC Teams
 
New Orleans Saints - crawfish pies, alligator chili - 2 dishes that have made the menu in the past - we could see some beignets this year too
 
Minnesota Vikings - hmmmm - deep fried walleye cubes ? deep fried snickers ? Lutefisk ? (I hope the vikings lose)
 
Dallas Cowboys - something tex-mex or maybe bbq, perhaps the Texas Crabgrass will reappear on the menu
 
Arizona Cardinals - Phoenix.....ummmmm......I'll get back to you on this one
 
Green Bay Packers - Cheese, cheese dip, port wine cheese & crackers, a stilton perchance ?
 
Philadelphia Eagles - no cheesesteaks, no cream cheese, going to have to think on this one
 
AFC Teams 
 
Indianapolis Colts - ummmmm - I know they celebrate with Milk at the Indy 500
 
San Diego Chargers - some hawaiian fusion, seafood, maybe a mexican influence while keeping it light or perhaps a zoo platter of exotic meats
 
New England Patriots - clam chowder ? a lobster roll ? baked beans ?
 
Cincinnati Bengals - they tell me that chili is big in Cincy so maybe I tie in my gator chili if they play the Saints
 
New York J-E-T-S jetsjetsjets - bagels with a schmeer ? hot pastrami sliders ? dirty water dogs ? street meat ?
 
Baltimore Ravens - Crab cakes or crab dip - could tie in with the Texas Crabgrass though I would shoot myself if I had to sit through Baltimore & Dallas in the SuperDuperBowl.
 
And of course, since the game is in Miami this year, we need to do something with a cuban influence to it.
 
I have also already decided that I have to try and recreate the Tennessee Tailpipes from Fat Annie's Truck Stop in NYC and I will obviously make my honey orange chicken wings too along with a tray or two of corn muffins and mini sundaes in phyllo dough cups (a MUST according to the swamprats). Those are givens.
 
So that's What's Cooking Behind The Shades for now. Please help me fill in my culinary blanks and give me some other suggestions too. I am open to try just about anything.....once.

34 Bowl Games - 34 Winners - Swampy's College Bowl Game Preview

It's that glorious time of year again where just about anyone with a stadium & a sponsor can host their own college bowl game. It wasn't always this way and once upon that time the bowl games actually meant something. Then cable television was born and so too were a countless number of craptastic games looking for any kind of an audience. This year there are actually 34 bowl games and it all kicks off on December 19th with the New Mexico Bowl and it all ends on January 7th when Alabama takes on Texas in the BCS National Championship game. Now I will admit that 34 games can be quite daunting for the non-football fan but that is why I am here to help. So without further ado, let's get to the plethora of pigskin that awaits us.

12/19 - New Mexico Bowl - Wyoming vs Fresno St.

One of Wyoming's wins the year was facilitated thanks to state snow plows & a police escort. That is how bad their opponent was and how much they needed to get to 6 wins to qualify for Bowl Season. Fresno St will win this game easily.

12/19 - St. Petersburg Bowl - Rutgers vs Central Florida

This basically a home game for UCF and Rutgers has done nothing but flop in big games this year. The Scarlet Knights start the season with a loss and end it with a loss too.

12/20 – New Orleans Bowl – Middle Tennessee vs Southern Miss

Middle Tennessee is probably the best 9 win team that no one has ever heard of and they will be the best 10 win team that no one has ever of after the game. And let’s face it, no one really loses when they get to go to New Orleans ?

12/22 – Maaco Las Vegas Bowl – Oregon St vs BYU

Nobody loses when they get to go to Las Vegas either and Las Vegas certainly loves the way the BYU fans travel. However, I just don’t see the Beavers taking a licking in this one.

12/23 – Poinsettia Bowl – Utah vs California

Utah certainly knows how to beat up & beat on BCS conference teams – just ask anyone in Alabama. Cal is more schizophrenic than a cougar I once dated back in the mid 80’s…..give me a moment please…..YIKES !

12/24 – Hawaii Bowl – Nevada vs SMU

Nevada runs the ball like they have a couple of Eric Dickerson’s & Craig James’ in their backfield. At least SMU gets a trip to Honolulu out of the deal.

12/26 – Little Caesars Bowl – Ohio University vs Marshall

Who cares who wins this game ? All that really matters is that once upon a time when I was a mascot for our local hockey team, I beat up the Little Caesars mascot. I hit him with a Domino’s box.

12/26 – Meineke Car Care Bowl – North Carolina vs Pitt

Pitt was just one kick & one catch away from playing in the Orange Bowl. This may be a relative home game for the Tar Heels but this ball isn’t round.

12/26 – Emerald Bowl – Boston College vs USC

A great matchup of two underachieving overhyped programs that looks great on paper. Not sure if they have ever even played each other before. You might think I am “nuts” but BC cracks open a win in this one.

12/27 – Music City Bowl – Kentucky vs Clemson

There is only two reasons to watch this game. The first is CJ Spiller of Clemson and the second is because it is the only game on that day. This game won’t even be close.

12/28 – Independence Bowl – Texas A&M vs Georgia

I lost interest in this game years ago when Poulan Weedeater dropped their sponsorship of the game. I lost even more interest when I saw the two teams playing this year. Just can’t ever pick the Aggies (unless they play Notre Dame) so the Bulldogs win this one.

12/29 – Eagle Bank Bowl – UCLA vs Temple

I think the last time Temple played in a bowl game they played in the now defunct Garden State Bowl and KC & the Sunshine ban were on the charts. This actually wouldn’t be a bad matchup if they were playing basketball. I just can’t see UCLA losing this one.

12/29 – Champs Sports Bowl – Miami vs Wisconsin

Wisco won’t be able to handle Miami’s speed and this game is going to be over early. Miami will be a team to be reckoned with 2010.

12/30 – Humanitarian Bowl – Idaho vs Bowling Green

The best thing about this game is that it is being played on the SMURF TURF ! Idaho started out winning 6 of the first 7 before they went 0 for November again. Despite the home field advantage, I am leaning towards Bowling Green.

12/30 – Holiday Bowl – Nebraska vs Arizona

I have no idea how to pronounce Ndamukong Suh’s first name but expect to hear it a lot as the Cornhuskers wear down the Wildcats out in San Diego.

12/31 - Armed Forces Bowl – Air Force vs Houston

I don’t think a platoon of F-16’s could help stop the bombing that Casey Keenum is going to lay down on Air Force. Houston is going to win this one in high scoring fashion.

12/31 – Sun Bowl – Stanford vs Oklahoma

How did such a crappy bowl game (El Paso – nuff said) get such a good game to watch. Should be fun to watch Heisman Almost Winner Toby Gerhart try to run on the Sooner D. Sorry Mom (she’s a Cal Grad) but I think the Cardinal win this one.

12/31 – Texas Bowl – Missouri vs Navy

Yawn – though it will be fun to see Navy try to avenge their loss to Mizzou from 1961. Look for Mizzou to throw, throw & throw and Navy to run, run & run.

12/31 – Insight Bowl – Minnesota vs Iowa State

I wonder how many people on the Insight Bowl Selection Committee killed themselves after they got stuck with this game ? The Big 12 is better than the Big 10 but I am picking Minnesota anyway because I got a speeding ticket in Iowa once.

12/31 – Chick Fil-A Bowl – Virginia Tech vs Tennessee

This game is a lot more interesting on paper than it will be on TV. I’ll take the Hokies because somebody has to win and I can’t see a former raiders coach doing that.

1/1 – Outback Bowl – Northwestern vs Auburn

A Big 10 surprise and a SEC disappointment for the first game of New year’s Day. Auburn shot it’s load in the Iron Bowl when they almost beat Bama. Northwestern should win this one.

1/1 – Capital One Bowl – Penn State vs LSU

2 teams that both had BCS Championship aspirations early on that just couldn’t close the deal when they needed to do it. I love LSU and have never picked against them.

1/1 – Gator Bowl – West Virginia vs Florida State

It kind of cracks me up that in Bobby Bowden’s farewell game as the Seminoles coach, he has to play in the “Gator” Bowl. West Virginia won’t roll over in awe of his career and the Mountaineers will kill them.

1/1 – Rose Bowl – Oregon vs Ohio State

Oregon was really one punch and one loss away from serious national title consideration. Ohio State is a team I have hated ever since I knew what football was. Go Ducks !

1/1 – Sugar Bowl – Cincinnati vs Florida

This could have been a much better game if Brian Kelly hadn’t run away to go coach Notre Dame. It does still have an interesting storyline in that you have Tim Tebow’s final game and you have a Cincinnati team that will either be out to prove that they don’t need their old turncoat coach or a you will have a Cincinnati team that rolls over from the controversy of it all. I think we will see the former since Mardy Gilyard is a real threat to score any & every time he touches the ball.

1/2 – International Bowl – South Florida vs Northern Illinois

This would be an interesting matchup in early September. It’s a reason to change the channel in January. I’m going with the underdogs from Northern Illinois.

1/2 – Papajohns.com Bowl – Connecticut vs South Carolina

I hate all Steve Spurrier coached teams and Connecticut has played well all season losing it’s 5 games by a combined total of 15 points. The Huskies have an intangible to play for that the Gamecocks don’t. I like Connecticut by a slice or two.

1/2 – Cotton Bowl – Oklahoma State vs Mississippi

The Cotton Bowl used to be one of the Big 4 Bowl Games but now it has been relegated to 2^nd tier status but it always gets a fun game to watch. I like both teams in this game so I really don’t care who wins but I will be putting my bowl picks pool money on OK State.

1/2 – Liberty Bowl – East Carolina vs Arkansas

I really liked the way that East Carolina handled Houston in the Conference USA Championship Game to get here. I don’t see them having any problems whatsoever handling the Razorbacks too.

1/2 – Alamo Bowl – Texas Tech vs Michigan State

I like the San Antonio Riverwalk. I like Texas Tech. Not much else to say about this game other than it finishes off an extremely long day of football.

1/4 – Fiesta Bowl – TCU vs Boise State

In some ways this battle of Non-BCS Conference undefeated teams is a cop out because both of these teams would have beaten any BCS Conference team that they faced but in other ways it isn’t because this is a football fan’s dream matchup. Both teams can & do score at will. Both teams are exciting. Everyone remembers what Boise State did to Oklahoma and everyone should remember Billy Clyde Puckett & Shake Tiller – 2 of TCU’s most famous football graduates. This game could actually inspire Dan Jenkins to even write another football book – at least I hope so. I bleed orange & blue on both a college & pro level so my heart and my head both tell me to take Boise State.

1/5 – Orange Bowl – Georgia Tech vs Iowa

A nice placeholder/palate cleanser game between the main course (Fiesta) and the dessert (BCS Championship). Neither team truly excites me but both will show up ready to play but like I said earlier, I once got a speeding ticket in Iowa (Marengo – 1981 to be exact) so I will cheering for the Rambling Wreck from Georgia Tech.

1/6 – GMAC Bowl – Central Michigan vs Troy

Where is the outrage & outcry over the Central michigan’s coach taking the job in Cincinnati ? Exactly. Troy is a team on the rise but Central Michigan has a QB that has found the end zone more often than any other QB in FBS history. Look for him to find it a few more times in this game as CMU finishes the season off with their 12^th win.

1/6 – BCS National Championship Game – Alabama vs Texas

Based on their conference championship games, this should be a blowout of snoozefest proportions with Heisman winner Mark Ingram rolling the Tide over Heisman also ran Colt McCoy & the Longhorns but I don’t like o use comparative scores when looking at a game like this. I think both conferences are overrated & over-hyped but these are indeed the best teams from both. The Longhorns are 5 point underdogs and I fully expect them to cover the spread. I also think that based on Bama’s performance against Auburn that Texas has more than a fighting chance of pulling off the upset. I’m liking the Longhorns pulling it out in their final drive as time expires.

So there you go. 34 games. 34 winners. Check back often to see why there is a reason that Las Vegas loves me as much as they do.

And that is the view for now from Behind The Shades and on the sidelines…..swampy abides….