Friday, December 30, 2005

Yeti Golf - 3378

Did you know that Trisha Yearwood was once thin ????

So many games this weekend are exhibition games........

I love listening to kobe talk tough - he is such an asshole.....

I should be skiing.....

PopoZao PopoZao !!!!!

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Merry Christmas – Happy Chanukah – Happy Kwanzaa and Happy New Year

Yesterday it was the morning glow just before sunrise reflecting off the ice and this morning it was fog – the swamp is something different every day

I wore a different Xmas tie every day in December this year and still had some left over for next year……

Is there anything more pathetic than watching the former ’72 Dolphins popping champagne whenever their record is saved ???.....it look like it could be Colts-Pats in Round 2 in Indy and the Colts would be trying to pull that monkey (no make that GO-rilla) off their backs – don’t think they can do it…..the Donkeys can screw the Chiefs playoff chances by losing to San Diego this week – now starting at QB for the Broncos – Bradlee Van Pelt……the raiders tanked their season a few weeks back but Kerry Collins is talking trash about his former team and their game this Saturday night – it could be fun to watch…..if the Bengals aren’t careful they could wind up as a #4 seed and playing in Indy in round 2 – of course they may prefer getting Jacksonville in Round 1 to getting a getting hotter Steelers team…….

2006 Random Pre-Thunk-ion….Paris Hilton will break off her engagement and get to keep another million dollar ring for her efforts……

If there is a better tune out there right now than HOME by Marc Broussard, then I haven’t heard it – I just hope that his re-cut version of the song is the direction that his music is taking because the rest of his album sounds like a John Mayer wannabe……Anna Nalick has some scary psycho girlfriend eyes but looks exactly like the type of woman I would have chased back in the day and been very sorry about catching……

King Kong is really tearing up the Box Office – not !!! Though once you figure in the foreign ticket sales it will probably be a hit and there will be talk of a sequel…….

Why wasn’t Wedding Crashers out on DVD for Xmas ? They missed the boat on that one. Of course Hollywood got the 2004 Smash Hit, Santa’s Slay, out in time……

Bill Parcells is an egotistical jackazz – just my opinion……..

2006 Random Pre-Thunk-ion….Mary Kate Olsen will be the next “star” to hit the net with a sex tape – it worked for Paris……

Xmas time is the time for Egg Nog in my coffee…..

Reese’s Holiday Bells – give me a bag of these bad boys and I am happy camper all day long……

Burt Ward – the Robin of Batman fame – was actually the Producer’s first choice for the Dustin Hoffman role in “The Graduate” – Holy Crotch Shots Mrs. Robinson ! Are you trying to seduce me ?

The hail bouncing off the players and the blue turf of Boise State University in yesterday’s MPC Computer Bowl made for a great visual – it actually seemed to pump the players up on both sides of the ball – Boise State almost pulled that game off after falling behind 24-0 at the half – you just can’t go 0-3 on 4th down tries in the first half and hope to win – why Hawkins didn’t get 3 points out of at least one of those may be the answer to why Boise State hasn’t tried a FG since October……..I hate Nebraska – thanks to Michigan for making stupid cornhusker fans happy and looking forward to next year……and a question for Rutgers, how can you lose a shootout when you have Tony Soprano on your side ? Loved the way that James Gandolfini was staring down the ASU captains during the coinflip……..

2006 Random Pre-Thunk-ion….Tara Reid will pose for Playboy but will get away without Full Frontal Nudity……

Six unanswered goals against the Fishsticks at the Mausoleum is always a good thing……I never feel confident about a game when Kevin Weekes is in the nets for the Rangers……

Speaking of Kevins – my holiday gift to you – www.kevinfederline.com – Oh Oh Oh Oh Popozao Popozao…….which incidentally means “watch me spend all Brit’s cash before she dumps me and I become a Reality TV Star on VH1”…….

Both Lauren Glassberg and Contessa Brewer have been back on the early morning newsbunny beat this week – always a welcome surprise…….and isn’t Contessa filling in for Don Imus a bit ironic considering their history ?????

I haven’t watched a single minute of the College Basketball season yet – I just know that Princeton is terrible this year – they even lost to Carnegie Mellon…….

You will love me – You will hate me – Now beat 2808…….. http://www.prosieben.de/games_handy/onlinegames/yetisports/games/popup_game_part5/

I finished first in both of my Fantasy Football leagues with rag tag lineups only to get killed in both of my championship games……there is always next year…..

2006 Random Pre-Thunk-ion……Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt will break up and Jennifer Aniston will marry Vince Vaughn

I wonder how many Johnny Damon Yankee jerseys Bill Simmons got for Xmas ?????

Sienna Miller turned down the role of the next Bong Girl ??? Does she think is a real actress or something ?

I think this weekend is going to be Alligator Stew time – I haven’t made that in a while……

Got the LOST Season 1 DVD for Xmas – that and my Rachel Ray knife may have been my best 2 presents…..

When I was growing up I could watch the Jets, Giants & Eagles and maybe get a national doubleheader game so Monday Night Football was the BIG game of the week – Howard Cosell was a God-Like figure and people paid money to get a chance to throw a brick at him through the TV screen – his halftime highlights were only eclipsed by this season’s “I Like It I Love It” highlights……..not

2006 Random Pre-Thunk-ion – “My Name is Earl” will win the Golden Globe for Best Comedy and the Emmy for Best Comedy…….and as an added public service, please don’t forget the Earl and The Office both move to Thursday starting next week – CSI moves to the VCR……..

I know there is more but I can’t thunk of it now – please remember that New Year’s Eve is Amateur Night and that this Greyhound is Delta Bound….thanks for your time

Friday, December 16, 2005

Tom Scott’s version of “Feliz Navidad” is always the first Christmas song I play in my car at the beginning of the holiday season……and as for Holiday This and Holiday That, enough with the PC Crap – A Christmas Tree is a Christmas Tree – it’s not like we call a Menorrah a “Holiday Candelabra”……

Think the ‘72 Dolphins are sweating the Colts run at perfection ? probably not half as much as CBS is sweating Tony Dungy benching Peyton Manning out in Seattle on Xmas Eve…..does it really matter if the Colts go undefeated ? They will still lose in the playoffs to my Broncos……

Caught the last 30 minutes of “The Graduate” on the tube the other morning while working out – it’s by far the best 30 minutes of the movie and it is easy to see why Dustin Hoffman became a star off of this role….it’s also real easy to see that young Katharine Ross was a stone cold fox and well worth running all over California for……

I can’t believe that the Rangers are still in first place – I am almost afraid that if I blink, I will wake up and they will be in last again…….

I was watching a Shakira video the other morning – again, not much on at 5am – and I couldn’t help but think that she could absolutely kill you in bed – so it made me thunk, would a home sex video of her be considered a snuff film ???

Peanut Butter Filled Hershey Kisses – there is a god in heaven……

How stoned was Jimmy Buffett when he recorded his Xmas album ? And speaking of stoned, I can’t help but think that that is the state you need to be in to really appreciate the Trans-Siberian Orchestra……

Bowl Season starts next week and I still need to make my picks – I can’t help but think that while USC-Texas looks good on paper, USC is going to kill them – sure the Longhorns played in Pasadena last year but USC plays there virtually every year and they own the place…..I’ve been to a Rose Bowl game and I have been to a USC-UCLA tilt at the Rose Bowl – what a great venue – what a great place to play a game – it oozes history and there is always great scenery in the stands – expect to pay $50 to park on someone’s lawn though…….

KING KONG wouldn’t be a $100 movie for me even if I could find a decent babysitter these days – 3 hours long screams DVD to me…..

Was it really any surprise that Pat Riley came back to coach now that Shaq is healthy again ?

Randal really screwed Rebecca last night in the Apprentice Finale – even worse than Cindy screwed the other Survivors on the car challenge – though I would have done what Cindy did too – I just would have shut up about it and gone on from there…..but back to the Apprentice – I never would hire a single person who has been or is even thinking of being on that show – it’s a joke – the only person who ever looks good on that show is Carolyn……

Danni got lucky that her legs were longer than Steph’s – how much do you want to bet that Steph & Rafe were killing their decision not to bring Lydia (the most useless survivor ever) to the final 3 when they saw the challenge. I don’t think she could have reached either the ropes or the post……..every season has a Judd – he should know that strong players are needed in the team stage in order to get to the merge and then they are targets for the weaker players in the individual stage – strong players only make the final 2 when they bring their A game the whole way like Colby or Tom did – of course Colby also lost his mind at the end
Of the Outback edition……

It’s a well established fact that Isiah Thomas is in idiot but when you take a 2nd look at the Knicks, he has done a couple of good things by bringing in Frye, Nate Robinson, Trevor Ariza and Eddy Curry (but only if the Tin Man can find a heart that works) – too bad he also brought in Starbury and got rid of Kurt Thomas – Zeke traded the wrong one in that hate/hate relationship

24 hours of Miami Vice last weekend and I think I saw 24 seconds of it – I remember when Vice was appointment TV……so was Moonlighting……..

Jay Feeley actually hit a FG last week when it counted – how many Giants fan fell over from shock after that…….the Jets may have killed themselves in the Reggie Bush sweepstakes with the4 victory over the Raiders but then again, Al Davis does hate the Jets so it should be no surprise that he had Collins benched for a game that the Jets needed to lose…….and Lamont Jordan sure made a statement last week in his return to NYC – still can’t hear the whisper

Saturday & Sunday Football this weekend and for every weekend through the end of the season – it’s the way that the NFL should be – I just still worry any time that I see the Broncos will be on national TV….

Full Nudity should be a requirement of all B&C List Celebrities when it comes to posing for PLAYBOY (Lisa Guerrero- I’m looking at you) – I just don’t understand why it isn’t….

The oven will be fired up all weekend as the Xmas cookies get made – I’ll be sick of sprinkles by the time I am done……..

Just remember, we don’t do it for the glory, we don’t do it for the free whiskey, we do it for the BaDonkaDonk……..

Friday, December 09, 2005

It's the first real snow of the winter and the idiots are out on the road. If you own and drive a 4 wheel drive Jeep, you should be able to go faster than 15 miles an hour. Obviously you need to sell your car and stay home. Get off the road ! If you are from the south and have never seen snow, stay off the road and stay home. Wait until the weekend, when I don't have to get to work, and go out and practice then. If you are nervous driving in snow - get off the road and climb back into bed. You are probably a useless part of society anyway and you are in my way. Get off the road !!!

I feel better now......

Monday, December 05, 2005

"When you think of naked, think of me." - not exactly what you want to hear from "Famous Lisa" at Famous Dave's

Why can't the Donkeys win in KC in December ? They are 1-17......

How can you go to an ECHL game and not see a fight ? It happened to me yesterday in Trenton....

Friday, December 02, 2005

Still can’t believe that they are still “the 1st Place NY Rangers” – this was supposed to be the worst team in hockey – I went to see them play Pittsburgh last night and they just work & fly & work some more – Lundqvist is just plain awesome in the nets – and with regard to the Pens, Crosby is going to be great and Mario looks old……

The Jints vs the Cowpokies – another case of rooting for injuries and a tie……

I hate Arrowhead Stadium – I have been to Arrowhead – every home game Sunday it becomes the world’s largest doublewide trailer……..

Not to name names but I think there is something very wrong with a man smoking a clove cigarette…….

Just when you thought that “The Simple Life” would never grace your screen again, here comes the E! Network to the “rescue” (?) - I may have to block that channel on my set…….and speaking of Nicole Richie – EAT SOMETHING !!!!

Lucky for the Knicks that Channing Frye looks to be the real deal – now if they could just get rid of Starbury and his “I want be like A.I.” whining…..

SPOILER ALERT if you haven’t seen LOST…………It was the last episode of LOST until the new year and it worked for me – Sawyer is back, Kate was the focus, just about everyone in the cast has a “Daddy issue”, Hurley uttered the best line of the night again, the interplay between Mr. Eko & Locke and the missing piece of the film was found – interesting that as soon as the film says it is imperative that you not use the computer to try and contact the outside then someone (Walt ?) tries to contact the bunker ?........in related notes, I caught and old episode of SPIN CITY over the weekend and Hurley was a cab driver, shorter hair and just as fat…..and Michelle Rodriguez (Ana Lucia) and Cynthis Watros (Libby) both got stopped for DUI within minutes of each other the other night – the tailies like to cocktail…….

We just had the 1,000th execution in this country since the Death Penalty was re-instituted 28 years ago, that’s an average of almost 3 per month – I don’t think I am out of touch but I had no idea it was that many – I am sure that the average in recent years is actually a lot higher but we are all just desensitized to it by the amount of media coverage we get from every different direction……

Haven’t seen the vultures on the buildings in recent months – the thermals must be gone – but I did see 8 of them chowing down on a dead deer this morning as I drove to work through the swamp…..

The Vikings have a real chance of finishing the season at 10-6 – who would have thunk it after their injuries and the infamous boat trip……

Saw in the paper today that Tom Brady & Brooks Bollinger were both 6th round picks – Brady has won 3 of the last 4 Super Duper Bowls and Bollinger is winless in his 4 games played……..Pats by double digits and then some, sorry dad……..

Boise State playing on the Blue Field in the MPC Computer Bowl is the lock of all locks no matter who they play…..think Texas has some issues with Colorado ? I don’t see anyway that the Longhorns don’t pay back the Buffs for 2001…….

And how am I supposed to get “Wedding Crashers” for Christmas if it isn’t out yet ???? Something must be done about this and now……

Thank you for your time - good luck finding a parking space at the mall and watch “My Name is Earl” – you will thank me for that last one……..

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Who was the genius that thought to put Cowboy Troy and Wynonna together to hand out an award ? It was Unintentional Comedy at it's finest. I bet they would not have turned a single head in Manhattan if they had walked down the street together.

Still thinking about how smoking hot Miranda Lambert was that night.......

Yet another News Bunny is on her way to MILF status - Amy Roback of MSNBC - and now another News MILF is back to work - welcome back Melissa Stark - also on MSNBC - they must be trying to stockpile for the inevitable showdown with CNN Headline News and FOX news

ALIAS is getting non-renewed - I stopped watching when Ben Affleck started dating Jennifer Garner.

Mint Holiday KitKat's - an excellent idea - going to have to think twice about buying the Orange Creme Holiday KitKat's......

How far the mighty have fallen - Page Six reports that Paris Latsis is using Tara Reid to get himself into the hot clubs.....

Monday, November 28, 2005

Another of my early morning News Bunnies is about to become a News MILF

speaking of MILF's - the bus stop MILF is back and she looks good even when she is cold

and what a sick, sick move by Marek Malik in the shootout the other night - total pond hockey and an ESPN highlight for days

Broncos beat the Thanksgiving National TV curse but I still have no faith this week in Arrowhead

more as I think of it....

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Happy Thanksgiving to one & all – may you all have some good bird this holiday season.

Here it is one day before Thanksgiving and the Rangers are still in first, Steph & Larry ain’t getting along, the Jets have had 5 different QB’s play (and suck) and the Giants, well, who really cares…..

I hate the concept of the shootout in the NHL but that sure was a sweet move that Jagr laid on the Sabres’ goalie last night.

Why does everyone hate the Weaver Family so much on The Amazing Race ? It is almost juvenile in nature but that shouldn’t be unexpected when you think about the Linz family. I hope they realize through the magic of editing how high school they look. I wasn’t a Weaver fan before but after last night I think I am.

When I hear Van Zant it brings me right back to my Southern Rock days of my high school years………Born To Run just turned 30 years old – I hate to say I remember when it came out – Springsteen only released one more album after that in my opinion – 10th Avenue Freeze Out is still and always will be my favorite song from that album……..

It was a bad 2 weeks in a row for anyone that happened to be a raiders & jets fan as my Broncos rolled to a 58-17 two week stomping……..not that the Broncos opening 95 yard TD dive wasn’t a thing of beauty but the Jets really do just plain suck this year – I just hope they realize that playing this way does not guarantee them Reggie Bush……..speaking of playing badly, I always dread seeing my Donkeys on National TV and I especially hate seeing them on Thanksgiving – I don’t doubt that they will lay an egg and the cowpokies will wind up stealing a game that they have absolutely no right winning tomorrow

Channing Frye looks like the real deal as the Knicks center for the future – finally Zeke got one right – we are coming upon the season of miracles…..

What will Peter King do once Brett Favre retires and the patriots dynasty completely crumbles ? Will he have anything to write about ?............funny seeing The Sports Guy on the front of the NY Times Sunday Style section – he couldn’t make the real sports section but he could make the women’s “sports” – the article itself didn’t say anything about him that we all didn’t already know from his column – still haven’t had a letter published in his mailbag and the year is running out……….

John Daly is getting his own reality show on the Golf Channel – you just have to hope that somehow Anna Nicole Smith will make a guest appearance……..at least Bobby John made the jury on Survivor: Guatemala but you know that it has probably been a tense 3 days at the Loser’s Lodge with just him and Jamie……Jamie had to go and I am actually surprised that he didn’t go sooner…..as the challenges become more about brains & agility and less about brawn, Judd’s chance to win begins to shrink……and has there ever been a more worthless survivor than Lydia ? I hope she is embarrassed by her lack of performance and worth……….

Cranberry Salad, Corn Muffins, Whipped Butternut Squash, Pumpkin Bread and Dutch Apple Cake are my contributions to Thanksgiving this year plus I will make the gravy when I get to my parent’s house……looking forward to the pots of Southwestern Turkey Soup (http://soup.allrecipes.com/AZ/SthwstrnTrkySp.asp) with the leftovers……

How come none of the teachers I had all throughout school looked anything like this latest teacher to sleep with a student – and she got off too…….in more ways than one

I really hate taking the highway to work each morning – not even pretending I am driving the final laps at Homestead help – it was so nice to get to take my old route through the swamp this morning….still sucks we had to work today but……….

What genius at the Las Vegas Bowl thought that BYU would be a good team to bring to town ? I would think that the Mormons would be afraid to come to Sin City – the bars and casinos can’t be seeing a lot of business from their fans……but then again, what goes in Vegas, stays in Vegas………

Fire Sale in Florida !!!! The Marlins are cleaning house. The Red Sox and now the Mets look to be the first to reap the rewards. How could Steinbrenner be missing out on these deals ????

I was all set to make fun of the Ohio State-Michigan meaning nothing last week and then they went out and played an instant classic……Cal buried Stanford and their band but still will wind up in some crap bowl playing someone like Rutgers because they fell on their faces 3 weeks in a row…….my favorite bowl game every year takes place on the Blue Field of Boise State……

Some CMA thunks – Country Music gets virtually no play in NYC but the popularity of country continues to grow nationwide so when country music gets a chance to showcase themselves in NYC for a night, why didn’t they break out performances of the upbeat new country sound instead of dragging one star out after another to sing slow songs that were true to country music’s roots ? It was a waste of a great prime time venue. The best performance of the4 night by far was Miranda Lambert’s performance of “Kerosene” – the ending visual of her dancing like crazy in front and behind two walls of flame was spectacular – she looked and sounded great too – she became a star with that one song. Carrie Underwood on the other hand, looked like a deer in headlights and her song was boring. LeeAnn Womack is just hot no matter what she sings and don’t you think that Waylon Jennings was scratching his way back up through 6 feet of dirt to get his hands on Elton John ? What were they thinking putting that fat british homo on stage at the CMA‘s ?

LOST thunks – Now that we have the tailies and the rest of the cast together I guess it is time for some flashbacks on their characters thus keeping the timeline from advancing very much again. I am looking forward to Libby’s back story so we can see what she looks like clean….….Hard to believe that Boone has only been dead for 8 days……..the interaction between Charlie & Locke should be interesting now that Locke has found out that Charlie is “religious”……..where has Kate been and why haven’t we seen more shower scenes of her in the hatch ???? Glad to see that Sawyer is still alive – they could spin his character off if they ever get off the island…….and will we ever find out what the numbers stand for ?..................more answers & questions tonight

Penn State in a BCS game ? Even Joe Pa has to be surprised about that one – if he even knows they are playing – I keep thinking of Weekend at bernie’s whenever I see him on the sideline

Every time I hear Jim Nantz on IMUS in the Morning I can’t help but think he is auditioning for Dan Rather’s old job

No Paris Hilton, No Lindsay Lohan, No early morning News Bunnies – I must be slipping……

Thanks for your time and for the brain cells that you lost while reading this missive....

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

It’s that time of year again and with the Broncos on their BYE week it means this year’s trip is back to VEGAS !!!

Hey Look – the Broncos just scored on the Iggles again…….nice of the Redskins to roll over for the Giants last weekend – I wonder if they were counting the ceiling tiles too…….considering that the Giants absolutely suck on the road this year, that “road game” against New Orleans in Week 2 really ought to be pissing off the rest of the NFC East right about now…….

The NBA has started up again and how excited do you think the players are about road trips to Oklahoma City this year instead of New Orleans ????

The best part of taking the kids Trick or Treating is watching all the MILF’s answer the door…….the second best part is trying out all the new types of candy…..I lost count of the number of Darth Vaders I saw this year – felt like I was back in the 70’s…..

It’s good thing that Sylvester Stallone has decided to call the latest Rocky installment “Rocky Balboa” instead of “Rocky 6” because as we all know – ROCKY 5 NEVER HAPPENED !!!......and speaking of Sly, is it not great that “The Contender 2” is starting up ? ESPN gets kudos for picking up this excellent series…….

The new NHL may be starting to catch up with the Rangers but it sure has been fun seeing the team that SI picked as the worst in the league – in FIRST PLACE !......now the Rangers need to get some muscle into the line-up or they are going to have more injuries like the Rucinsky injury……and Hendrik Lundqvist is going to be the next Mike Richter…….

Hey Look – the Broncos just scored again on the Iggles……

What is the deal with the jerseys that Va Tech and Florida were wearing this week ? Is FloJo designing uniforms from beyond the grave ? The different color sleeve has got to go……is any lead OK State gets against Texas safe ? they blew a 28 point lead last year at Texas and a 19 point lead at home this year…….Penn St. at 8-1 may be the biggest surprise in college football this year – how many people (myself included) had Joe Pa being tossed on the scrap heap years ago ????

Did Ricky Williams celebrate his first positive yardage game with massive bong hits on Sunday night or is he waiting for his first TD to light em up again ?

BreathSavers new Citrus Mint flavor is great and Fresca’s new Black Cherry Citrus isn’t too bad either

Can anyone really believe that Rutgers is still in the running for BCS Bowl Berth ? The Big East Conference is a joke……….USC-Notre Dame may have been one of the best college games I have seen in a long time – Matt Leinart made a hell of a call on the 4th down play and got lucky with the spot of his fumble – it certainly also helped that the refs didn’t call Reggie Bush for pushing Leinart into the end zone either……USC does not have an easy road for their last few games – Cal may not be the team they were last year but I will still bet the OVER when they play…….regional Fox Sports channels are great in the early AM as I get to watch a lot of teams/games that I would never watch on a Saturday…..

Why is Penny Hardaway surprised that he is inactive for the opener tonight against the Celtics ? His best days are so far behind him that you can’t even see them…..

“I’m Not Earl” is the best new show on TV – I loved Jaime Pressley in Playboy but she is even better here……glad to see the Rugrats get eliminated last night on The Amazing Race – that family just annoyed me to no end…….the merge has happened on Survivor: Guatemala and I sure hope that Bobby John & Steph are smart enough to align themselves because they are targets from here on out – next player eliminated should be Judd but these people have not been too bright so far so we shall see…….I have said it before and I will say it again, I would never hire anyone who was on “The Apprentice” and if Trump were actually smart, he wouldn’t hire any of these idiots this year either – it would make a great finale – all the build up over who to hire and bam – he fires them both – the next crop of candidates would have to actually work that much harder at impressing him instead of backstabbing each other

And the Broncos score again on the Iggles……

Both Mike Anderson & Tatum Bell have more rushing yards this year than Reuben Droughns – with the play of the rejected Cleveland Defensive Line this year, that trade is looking better and better….the Champ Bailey trade isn’t looking all that great from either end of the spectrum and I still have no faith in Dominique Foxworthy or whatever his name is…….

Terry Glenn gets all the yards and Keyshawn gets all of the TD’s – I am sure that sits well with a stable clubhouse influence like Glenn……

I have made 15 loaves of Pumpkin Bread in the past 2 weeks and only been able to keep 2 – something is very wrong with that…….

My plane takes off in 24 hours – Hoover Dam here I come !!!!!

NOT !!!!

Thursday, October 13, 2005

With all this rain I feel like I am extra on the set of “Blade Runner”……

Mel Stottlemyre has quit, Joe Torre has no friends in the dugout and fewer friends down in Tampa, ARod is considering changing his number from 13 to .133 and Brian Cashman is looking longingly at the Phillies job – hard to imagine that Steinbrenner will keep quiet since he can’t stand seeing teams other than his own at the top of the sports page and to steal a line from Bill Simmons – there are 5 year old Yankee fans out there who are beginning to wonder if they will ever see a World Series championship in their lifetime

FOX has cancelled plans to go ahead with Simple Life 4 – what will Paris Hilton do now for $$$ and attention ?

The city of Pittsburgh is breathing again now that Big Ben doesn’t need to go under the knife but they should still be scared stiff about starting Charlie Batch against Jacksonville – I wonder if they will follow the Jets lead and give Terry Hanratty a call ???

Where have all the fights gone in the NHL ??? I still don’t like the shootout….

Any episode of LOST that centers on Hurley is a good episode and could Jack have been undressing Kate anymore with his eyes than he already was when she stepped out of the shower ? What happened in that bunker on the other side of island ? The numbers didn’t get pushed ? Did the sickness get the other survivors or was it “The Others” ? “The Others” have obviously been on the island for a while and were probably part of the Dharma Initiative so wouldn’t they know where all the bunkers were located ? And which bunker was Desmond running to last week ? I know some folks weren’t impressed but next Wednesday once again cannot get here soon enough for me…..

The NBA Pre-season has started !!! Who cares ???

How can the cowpokies lose to raiders but beat the iggles silly ? The Giants must have loved watching that during their bye week…….I wonder if Gopher, Isaac & Julie were working the Vikings cruise last week ?.....Don’t want to jinx my Donkeys but they seem to be catching the Pats at the right time – Jake finally won 4 games in a row for the first time in his career – could it be the Power of the Porn Stache ?

Why would anyone ever hire anyone from The Apprentice ? Why would anyone ever even interview anyone who appeared on Martha Stewart’s version of the Apprentice ?

Watched Bobby Flay lose to Ming Tsai last Sunday on Iron Chef – I know it was a repeat but watching Flay lose never gets old……

Going to see the Rangers beat the Devils tonight at MSG – drop the puck – I have a train to catch…..

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Football season is 4 weeks old, the baseball playoffs start today, the puck is poised to drop on a new NHL season, the leaves are starting to fall in my yard, it’s Tiki Tuesday on Fox News First and Michael Vick is hurt again – I thunk it must be the start of Fall……..

The Vultures were next door this morning – wonder if they sensed some layoffs ????

Two words Joe Torre – shut up ! You can’t talk about the Texas Rangers and the integrity of baseball when you trot out Jared Wright in the final game of the season…..Chone Figgins is going to be stealing 2nd with regularity this series – the Yanks have less success throwing out base stealers than Mike Piazza………Angles have their rotation set and the Yanks are pitching Wang in the 2nd game – this series should be done in 4…….love the Red Sox/White Sox matchup – Big Papi will be the difference (like that’s a stretch of a call)………should the Cardinals really have to play the Padres ?

Paris Hilton is keeping her $5m engagement ring – not a bad payout for 5 months work – word is that she has moved onto another rich greek shipping heir…….

I feel sorry for everyone that has Dante Culpepper in their Fantasy Football leagues – he’s making Vinny Testaverde look like a good option……and as unbelievable as it is that the Jets would even call Vinny, word is that they also called Ken O’Brien but he couldn’t keep his feet set long enough to actually answer the phone…….Cincy may be surprising a lot of people with their 4-0 start but I called it in my preview thunks – they still have plenty of time to crash & burn……….why did it not surprise me to see Drew Bledsoe get picked off by the Burger King ???........the cowpokies can’t beat the raidazz ? they do suck……..Eli looks Peyton and now Peyton is starting to look like himself……who said that the Chiefs had a defense this year ?...........the Chargers exposed the defending champs and now the Pats get to go to Atlanta for the Michael Vick experience – lucky for them he is suffering from his annual first injury of the season……..Brett Favre is 0-4 – I wonder if Peter King is crying into his Triple Hazelnut Grande Whipped Cream Latte this morning?

The Battle of the Network Reality Stars is finally over and I have to admit I watched part of one episode. I am trying to blame it on the fact that it was 5am and there was nothing else on but I really just wanted to see how nasty Nikki McKibben was looking these days……speaking of 5am – TNT has stepped up recently with “Aliens” and “A Fistful of Dollars” – they have also killed me with “Terms of Endearment” and “Steel Magnolias” too……and speaking of “Aliens” , I have a question for Hollywood ? If the Alien can’t beat Sigourney Weaver in a glorified forklift, how could it ever beat the Predator ????

Now that school has started my commute has changed and I am restrictor plate racing on the highway each morning just like at Daytona & Talladega – I really miss the swamp in the morning……

Sports Illustrated has picked the NY Rangers to finish dead last in the NHL this year – I would be concerned with that prediction if Sports Illustrated actually had more hockey knowledge than Peter Puck…….the Outdoor Life Network has the NHL contract and I don’t have OLN in my basic cable package yet – the email campaign against Patriot Media continues…….

Mike Piazza most likely finished his Mets career the other day when Willie Randolph yanked him in the 8th inning of a one-sided game against the Rockies thus denying him of one final at bat in front of the Shea faithful – he will be a great DH pick up next year in the AL and it looks like the Angels have the inside track….Piazza brought respectability back to Flushing and management let it all get flushed after the 2000 World Series – he deserved better – thanks Mike

Don’t know why so many people are complaing about the 2nd episode of LOST last week – I liked the different perspective angles that were shot and the theories I have been reading all over the Net have been all over the map……I can’t help but think that this is a corporate experiment gone offline much like Jurassic Park and no one back at the company knows about it or cares to put a stop to it…..can’t help but wonder how the “Others” that grabbed Walt have a boat, fuel, handguns and a bomb while the “Others” on the beach that were chasing Jin had primitive clubs and moved like Zombies – are their two sets of “Others” on the island ?.....and 4+8+15+16+23+42=108 which was pointed out to me is Hurley’s waist size……..hhmmmmmm

Bobby John hasn’t been to Tribal Council for 2 straight weeks now – does he know what to do with himself every 3rd night yet ? I heard that the first night he packed up and started out to Tribal Council out of habit….and Steph is starting to look beaten again – she really got stuck with some real winners again……..and if I were Gary Hogeboom, I would keep my mouth shut about being a former NFL QB too because he really sucked when he played…….

Saw Big & Rich’s new video the other night and I think they may be starting to believe their own hype………

Isiah Thomas just made his first trade of the NBA season – if I were the Bulls, I would have held out for Tito Jackson instead of taking Jermaine….. though personally I think that LaToya is probably a stronger player in the post than either of them…..Larry Brown has now traded Tim Thomas twice – guess Tim should be able to tell if Larry likes him or not by now

The NJ Cardinals have been sold and are being moved from Sussex County to State College, PA – did they get the Rally Cow too in the sale ? Guess I have to take the kids to a Somerset Patriots next season….

It’s Snickerdoodle season and it’s also time to start making applesauce…….

CNN Headline News has taken the lead in the News Bunny Sweepstakes with their recent addition of Susan Hendricks to the triumvirate of Erica Hill, Robin Meade and Christi Paul – Fox News is going to have to do a lot better than the Z Team they trotted out last weekend if they want to compete – Juliet & Kiran and new addition Alyson Camerota can’t carry the load alone……and in other News Bunny News, Amy Robach is a real good reason for Katie Couric to keep looking back over her shoulder at the Today Show……..had a Liz Cho siting the other night while feeding my son – she is looking her best since her early days at ABC World News this morning……..

Boise State won a shootout in Hawaiii this weekend but that loss to Oregon State in the 2nd week of the season has doomed them to the Holiday Bowl already…..USC looked great in the 2nd half against ASU – I actually thought they had scored too fast when they took the lead 28-24……..I hate Notre Dame just in case you didn’t know that……..I also hate Nebraska – they can’t lose often enough for me…..texas looks like the real deal but they still need to convince me this weekend when they take on the Sooners in Dallas……the SEC looks tough and Princeton has started out 3-0 – look out Penn, here come the Tigers !!!!

Ella Enchanted, the Princess of Genovia, has gone topless in her latest movie and Lindsay Lohan is doing the same in Vanity Fair – “Taradise” got cancelled before I ever got to see it (I hope it comes out on DVD soon) and Tara Reid herself reports that she is in negotiations with Playboy – I may be a few months late on that one but it looks like I was right…….

That’s it for today – Angels in 4, Red Sox in 5, Cards in 3 and Astros in 5 – Al Woodall, where are you when we need you ?

Friday, September 16, 2005

Stephenie is back !!! The toughest female survivor ever - she is my favorite to win and she has a huge target on her back. She looked pretty happy to win that first immunity challenge too. Bobby Jon is also back and has continued with his impressive streak of never not going to Tribal Council. The location looks brutal - the teams look interesting - I think we will not see the strongest player win this time but will see a weasel like Brandon the Farmer go a long way.

Better recaps and comments to follow I promise - had to help my daughter with her homework for half of the show.....

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Why do I feel good about paying $3.11 for gas ?

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

First September and now October ? Two good issues in a row at Playboy ? What the hell is going on over there ?

Why was I watching "Battle of the Network Reality Stars" at 5am ? I think I just answered my own question.

I still want to throw up in my mouth when I think about the Donkey's opening game this year......

Why do I care more about Fantasy NASCAR than Fantasy Golf ? Why am I even asking that question ?

Thank you Moose for silencing the taunts - your # will look great up in the rafters......

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

A couple of quick thunks coming out of the last few days......

Paula Creamer is going to be the next "Annika" in women's golf. She called out the euro's before the Solheim Cup and then absolutely crushed one of their biggest stars in the final round of matches on Sunday 7 & 5. She is only 19 but plays like a veteran - it also helps that she grew up in a town I used to live in many years ago

I sure am glad that the football season is 16 weeks and not just one game - I can only take solace in the fact that the Pats lost their opener a few years ago 33-0 to Buffalo but went on to win the SuperDuper Bowl. I can't even bring myself to check out the Denver Post website.

"Mad Max" was on AMC early this AM - first time I had seen it with Mel's aussie voice not being dubbed - great 5am movie but I wish they hadn't cleaned it up......

"LOST" is back in 8 days........

Juliette Huddy & Kiran Chetry hosted Fox & Friends First this past Sunday - a double dipped delight - I liked Kiran's push-up bra too - she was almost in the same league as Juliette

"Change" by the Warren Brothers is my new favorite song so far this week

and Ed McBain dies this past July - why didn't I know this ?????

Thursday, September 08, 2005

You asked for it (Glen) and now you got it – with apologies to Peter King, I now present my “10 Thunks I Thunk I Thunk”……

1. I have now reviewed, analyzed and scrutinized my Broncos schedule and I can honestly say that 16-0 would be a good season, 15-1 would be OK, 14-2 could be blamed on the incompetent refs blowing a call, 13-3 would be a disappointment and 12-4 or worse would be a complete and utter failure of a season and Shanahan should be fired (not that I am biased or anything) – it also helps that my nightmare of the wasted 3rd round pick is finally gone and that Jerry Rice decided that his ego couldn’t sit on the bench and work it’s 43 year old self back into the line-up

2. Bill Parcells is obviously deluded and the rest of the cowpokie fans have been smoking cow chips if they think that Drew Bledsoe is their savior – they will all be missing Quincy Carter by week 3 – and word is that Jeff Hostetler has started working out again as he is the next stop on the Parcells QB Reunion Tour….DeMarcus Ware may be the only cowpokie worth watching this year

3. Steelers fans better look for some place soft to land as Ben Roethlisberger comes crashing back to earth this year………look for Cincy to steal the AFC North this year

4. The only reasons I am watching tonight’s Pats-Raiders tilt are – it’s opening night for the NFL, to see the raiders lose and to see the raiders get injured – oh and to see the raiders lose

5. Speaking of the raiders, their offense has definitely upgraded this year with Kerry Collins channeling Daryle Lamonica, Lamont Jordan as a real RB threat and Randy Moss doing bong hits with the Raider Nation faithful but their defense still stinks – should be one track meet after another – raiders will be lucky to get to 8-8

6. Speaking of going 8-8, that is about all that Giants fans can hope for with Eli at QB this year – 4-12 is the best they can hope for if Tim “My wife is on The View” Hasselbeck plays – too bad they cut the Bachelor, they could have been even worse with him at the helm….and how did the Giants get the NFL to give them a 9th home game – the game against the Saints should have been played as close to Nawlins as possible for the sake of the team and the region.

7. Carolina will now have the SI Cover Jinx to deal with this year and as much as I hope their defense delivers (I have them on my 2 fantasy teams), I can’t see them hoisting the Lombardi Trophy in February – Can’t see Philly doing it either as the TO/McNabb undercurrent will continue to eat away at the team chemistry – it’s easy to bury it in the first quarter of a pre-season game

8. At least the NY Jets fans will always have 1969…….

9. and now some of my non-football thunks

a. The Mets killed their season in the place where they always commit playoff suicide by losing 3 straight in the Field of Screams that is Atlanta. Why is ESPN even still listing them in the NL Wild Card Race ?
b. I would vote out Gary Hogeboom in the first Tribal Council in this next version of Survivor just because he played for the cowpokies
c. Coffeenerdness – when is Peter King going to quit drinking liquid candy and start drinking Community Coffee Nawlins Blend ???
d. LOST starts in 2 weeks and I can’t wait – Evangeline Lilly has a permanent spot on my current LIST
e. Juicin’ Giambi must think the 10 games will be worth it because there is no other explanation for his new found lost power at the plate
f. Allison Moorer’s “Send Down An Angel” is this week’s video pick
g. Last night’s Agassi-Blake quarterfinal match was great viewing and a US Open instant classic – it reminded me of many of the McEnroe matches of another era – he was wizard at this time of year
h. Is anyone watching “Battle of the Network Reality Stars” and if they are, why ?????

10. Quick Super Bowl pick – Denver 34 Minnesota 31 (as if you couldn’t guess)………

That’s it for now – thank you for your time – don’t forget to donate to www.redcross.org for those affected by Hurricane Katrina

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Looks like Jo Dee Messina wants to fight Gretchen Wilson for Shelby Lynne's old seat at the end of the bar down at the Last Call Bar & Grill.....

Friday, August 26, 2005

I think my next fantasy team is going to be named "Shapely Adorables"
This morning there were 13 vultures on the building - yesterday there was only one and he did not look happy - even more ticked off than the large woman I just saw in the cafeteria who missed out on the last Cheese Danish..........

Miss America is leaving Atlantic City - they should move it to Vegas - the potential for yearly scandal would be off the charts and it would definitely help elevate the level of the contestants

The kids are stepping in and stepping up for the Mets - 4 in a row in AZ to start this 7 game trip - Mike Jacobs went 1-3 last night and his average slipped to .500 - I really hope this kid is real - the corners of the Mets infield would be set for years to come.......and I was right, the Mets really aren't missing Piazza that much - even he joked about it last night - this team is 7 over .500 with 24 of their remaining 35 against the NL East where they have a 27-23 record - they have their season in their own hands now

Would someone in the AL please finally put the stake in the heart of the Yankees ??? This is getting ridiculous - now Cleveland is stepping it up since the A's have somewhat faltered in the Wild Card race - and Yankee fans, your team has a $210M payroll - shouldn't they be playing for the Division Title and not just the Wild Card ?

Are White Bucks too formal for the office on Casual Friday ?

Jets-Giants tonight - will the brawl in Albany make a reappearance ? Probably not on the field but it will in the stands - only Giants and Eagles fans probably fight more often.......I am still a long way from convincing myself that Ron Dayne is real.....fantasy football draft is coming up next week and I need to finish my pre-rankings - I also need to join a public league where I can be the king of the waiver wire - I also need to start up a salary cap league and find another 2 or 3 more suicide pools to join........I haven't paid attention to any of the pre-season college football coverage yet - I have seen a lot of replays of games from last year on the various Fox sports channels - I'll be psyched to have the games back for real come the fall - they will fill an awful lot of those 5am workout slots - the more obscure the conference, the better

Some mornings just say Toby Keith and this was one of those mornings

Now Sports Illustrated is looking into the Outdoor Life Network - there may be hope for me seeing NHL games after all - I would hate to be stuck with only being able to see the Devils or the Fishstix when my Rangers aren't on.......Rangers signed another very large young player with impressive penalty minutes down in the AHL - they may not be all that good this year but it looks like the fans at MSG will be getting their money's worth - especially since Dolan actually did lower the price by 10% this year like he promised......it was strange seeing Brian Leetch in a Toronto jersey last year but seeing him in a Bruins jersey this year is going to hurt as much as seeing Brad Park in a Bruins jersey all those years ago.......Rick Middleton for Ken Hodge is still a trade that haunts me late at night......where did the Penguins suddenly get $$$$ ????.......Does anyone actually care about the Flyers ? I know I don't. There actually isn't another sport where I really dislike every other team in the league as much as I dislike the other teams in the NHL - I can tolerate most of the Western Conference teams but I can't find a single redeeming thing to say about another Eastern Coference team - it's just the way it is.

I haven't see Quite Frankly with Stephen A. Smith and quite frankly I am not in a real hurry to see it either - it sounds like he hasn't quite hit his stride yet with the show anyway.

LOST Season 1 DVD on 9/6 – 2nd season premiere on 9/21 at 9pm Eastern…….

I'm late on this one but it is called the "Alan Houston Rule" for a reason !!!! The basketball does not promise to be pretty at MSG this year....

Last week's culinary adventure was Scallop Pizza with Red & Yellow Tomato sauces and Manchego cheese (thank you Rachel Ray for the cheese) - quick easy and real good if I do say so myself - not sure what is on tap for the weekend but I have all day Sunday to experiment in the kitchen

Back to Fantasy Football - it's my annual quandary - do I ban all of the other AFC West teams (and the Giants) from my rosters or do I sell out to the awesome stats of Priest, Gates, Moss and most likely, Lamont Jordan ? Probably only in my public league

Van Zant's "Help Somebody" and Brad Paisley's "Alcohol" are my two new current favorites in the rotation on VH1 Country - I still have to shake my head at Faith Hill's attempt at rocking out in her "Mississippi Girl" video - I have never seen her in concert but it just doesn't look natural for her - I liked her blonde better

More shallow news bunny news from your truly, Erica Hill has re-surfaced (or I actually finally found her) on CNN Headline News Prime News Show every night - I miss her at 5am......Carol Costello & Kristine Johnson have both been on vacation this week and greatly missed.....

Is it ever smart to pick a road team in a Suicide Pool ?

Hello Jessica Simpson, this is a sandwich, you eat it. ......CMT showed the "new" version of her Boots video last night - no more pink bikini car wash - got replaced by random clips from the movie......why ?

I have had the chance to have some real Colombian Coffee the last 2 mornings and now I know why they smoke so much weed down there too - this stuff could give Espresso a run for it's money....

I'm banking on Jeff Gordon to show some pride this weekend in Bristol - some no name is going to three jack & steer job himself to a win in the PGA's Buick No Name Championship - my own golf game continues it's sabbatical which is probably a good thing....

Thanks for wasting your time reading this - Whiskey for my men and Beer for my horses.......

Monday, August 22, 2005

just a few short days ago, the dynamics around here changed in so many different ways that I still can't comprehend it all......still the most amazing thing on earth

staying home this past week has given me less time to post and less time to reflect on the little oddities and irrelevances that life throws you....I can also state for the record that weekday morning TV is no better after 7am than it is at 5am - 6am may have the strongest hour with Imus, Fox & Friends First, Mike & Mike, CMT, Robin Meade and the Lost World all kicking off at the same time.....speaking of kickoffs, many more bits & pieces seen of preseason games this weekend courtesy of the NFL Network - still no clue how to rank my players for my fantasy draft - I need to get a team in a Yahoo Public League - those are the teams where I wear out the waiver wire picking up every unknown flash in the pan I can find

Ron Dayne had another huge game this weekend and may have just solidified that spot on the roster - yet another promising young player who could not handle the pressures & expectations of NYC - Denver has a microscope all of it's own - better give something good out on Halloween....how is Jerry Rice doing ? I missed the re-broadcast of the Niners/Donkey game this afternoon - I need to cruise www.denverpost.com

So Tiger flew home while he was technically still in the hunt. Many people have already said it but I would have to thunk that an awful lot of people at the PGA would have been stepping on their dicks trying to figure out a way to have a Tuesday Playoff or would they have waited until late afternoon to start the playoff so that Tiger could have flown back - Lefty made these questions irrelevant but they would make a good argument at the 19th hole.

Saw "March of the Penguins" this past weekend - we now need to see a documentary of the Leopard Seal now !!!! .......How much longer until "Wedding Crashers" gets to DVD ?....... The Sopranos is coming back for an additional 8 episodes in 2007 - we still haven't seen Season 5 yet......Still don't see a movie out there being worth $100.......Did Rachel Blakely ever come to her senses and do some soft core ? Why isn't Xena on in the morning ? The NHL is on the Outdoor Life Network this season ? Does that mean we get a Pond Hockey Game of the Week ? OLN is part of the Arts package for my cable system - this is not going to work - Patriot Media will be hearing from me daily. "LOST" returns on September 21 and that is not a moment too soon. Saw an "Iron Chef" repeat last night where the challenger only plated 2 dishes - sounds like he worked at Hell's Kitchen. "Two and a Half Men" is slowly becoming a guilty pleasure that you no longer have to feel guilty about watching. If you are still watching "Yes Dear" then you should just be ashamed of yourself.......

The Mets will keep it interesting for their fans with regard to the wildcard but Braden Looper is making me miss Armando and that just doesn't feel right.....Piazza is the newest Met on the shelf but I really don't think they will miss him as much as they should.....bet Kris Benson won't be getting any at home any time soon after he bombed on Sunday......nice to see George & Joe try to take the spotlight off their underperforming check cashing $210m payroll

that's all for now - read Dan Jenkins

Monday, August 15, 2005

You just have to know that Phil Mickelson was praying for lightning yesterday as his game continued to melt in the hot NJ sun. Last night's rain has softened the greens and the humidity & temperature are both down too. Another player who will benefit today is Vijay. He is perfectly capable of tossing birds at 17 & 18 - in fact he has birdied 18 all 3 rounds. Ben Curtis wore NY Giants gear and proceeded to cough up a 77 and take himself out of contention. Good sign for the real Giants. Think Tiger really wanted to stick around another day today ? The weather has pretty much guaranteed that the field won't come back to him but this is golf, so stranger things have happened. He can't afford to not be here. Play starts again at 10:05am - back later with more thunks.....

Got to love the NFL Network and their primetime Saturday night pre-season football coverage. It is like NCAA Hoops Tourney coverage. And to have it all again on Sunday morning during my workout ? Excellent morning viewing choice. One thing does irk me about watching preseason football from regional feeds - if you are the visiting team, you are virtually ignored by the announcers. You might as well watch without the sound.

Monday, August 08, 2005

13 vultures on the edge of the building this AM and they are sneaking ever closer to the front doors......left the house 10 minutes later than usual and saw 2 to 3 times more bike riders in the swamp - packs of riders can be more annoying than landscaping trucks

Pre-season Football has started !!!!

Thanks to the scrapped Shuttle landing this morning, the News Bunnys were out in force at 5am - Kiran Chetry, Christi Paul, Kristine Johnson and Carol Costello - too bad Juliet Huddy, Erica Hill and Robin Meade weren't doing remote spots.....

Mrs. Leetch - I'll miss you.....

The Great One goes behind the bench - how soon before the Messiah does too ?

Yahoo Launchcast labels some bands as Alternative Country yet doesn't have a sub-group to listen to for it - this needs to be done now.......is Faith Hill trying to look like Julia Roberts ? She was hotter as a blonde.......and isn't it about time for some new bumpers on VH1 Country - the Dixie Chicks aren't fat and Lee Ann Rimes is still a virginal kid.....

Pre-Season Football has started !!!!!

Still singing the praises of my wireless headphones - though they are a little big and a little hot

Mike Piazza is still swinging that hot bat in the # 6 spot - too bad the Mets can't seem to put a major run together - they should be a lot better than a .500 team....

That's it for now - I know there will be more after I log off

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Welcome to this week's edition of "This Old Shuttle". We are going to repair some protruding gap filler - think tile grout - with a handmade hybrid hacksaw made out of a nail file and duct tape.........you have got to be kidding me ? I just hope that the astronauts make it home safely.

Tons of player movement has begun in the NHL - Martin Straka does not make me feel good enough about my season tix......Pronger for handful of role players ? Done ! Nice pickup by Edmonton

The redhead in the Pussycat Dolls video has a real nice nastiness about her - same goes for the middle blonde on the left in Jessica Simpson's latest video

I have now seen a full body shot of Robin Meade of CNN Headline News and Juliet Huddy of Fox News First now has some serious contention for the Early AM Queen of the News Bunnies - never discount Kiran Chetry though......

Anybody seen or heard from Crazy Tom Cruise and his brainwashed bride to be Katie Holmes ? Didn't think so - phase 2 of her indoctrination must be taking place. Her former soul will be posted for sale on E-Bay soon enough

Wireless Headphones - why did I wait so long. The NFL Network has never looked so good at 5am.....Live TV coverage of the Bills-Packers pre-season practice scrimmage on Friday night - how awesome is that ?

36 days until kickoff - later

Friday, July 29, 2005

Broncos Training Camp Opens Today ! NBA Free Agent signings start today ! The NHL is in the newspaper again today. The sports world is starting to shape up some….

I know I have mentioned this before but when I work out at 5am I watch TV without any sound. It makes for some frustration and for some amusement. I still don’t know what to thunk about why Martha Stewart and Edgerrin James were on the screen at the same time during ESPN News the other morning and I really don’t need to know why…..

Chacon is coming to the Yanks – order more tickertape……..Al Leiter sure went from “Leits Out” to “Leit Him Up” in a hurry…..the yanks simply don’t have the pitching to carry them into the playoffs but the Red Sox don’t seem to want to kill them off. It is almost like they have to be in a struggle with the yanks to make the season worth playing…..The O’s have tanked and aren’t even a legit wild card threat………the Mets are becoming less of a wild card threat too – you can’t waste 8 innings of pedro on the road with the Astros big guns still waiting in the wings for the next 3 games- of course, Houston may be peaking early and the trade deadline is Sunday…..

The producers over at Access Hollywood must have read my throw away thunk yesterday about whether Nancy O’Dell was pregnant or not – still just a chest up shot this morning but what she was wearing was far too tight to hide a pregnancy – thank you MSNBC…..

The vultures have moved a level closer to the parking lot and another mailroom intern has gone missing………no interesting roadkill this morning – no metaphors for work….I did have a NASCAR moment as I took the big left turn and headed into the long straightaway……

I believe that my Balsamic Corn & Black Bean salad recipe is next on my the request list. That could of course and probably will change by the time I get home…..

Now I know I made fun of Tim McGraw doing a duet with Nelly and I know I was scared of the possibility of J-LO hooking up with Wynonna but Willie Nelson trying to sing Reggae is a laughable crime. I heard & saw the video on VH1 Country the other morning and it was like driving past an accident on the highway – I couldn’t stop myself from watching. I can’t imagine not owning this CD and yet at the same time, I can’t imagine ever listening to it either. I know that Willie likes to smoke some doobies but the record exec who okayed this deal must have been smoking some absolute killer weed………

I have said it before and I will say it again – the chick in Shooter Jennings new video is Smoking Hot!........speaking of hot – Sara Evans is most definitely back in running with her latest video – she hasn’t looked this good since “Perfect”……and does Shania twain ever look bad in a video – she does not seem to age at all – not like Melanie Griffith and Meg Ryan – someone stop these women before they give Jocelyn Wildenstein a run for her money

It may be some time before I get back into a movie theater for an grown up film so all I can hope is that “Wedding Crashers” comes out on DVD real soon……I really don’t have any problem at all seeing Kurt Russell as an aging superhero……..I thunk that John Cusack is a great onscreen representative for guys in their late 30’s and early 40’s…….Diane Lane is great onscreen rep for those ladies in their late 30’s and early 40’s too……

Have I mentioned that Broncos training camp opened today ? Maurice Clarett has signed too. Running back is a position that I really don’t think is a problem spot for the donkeys – Anderson, Bell, Griffin – a strong trio without the rest in camp – Kyle Johnson is going to be an all-pro fullback in the next 2 years…..I still don’t see what Jerry Rice can add to this team other than a few reporters from Geriatric SI…… Champ Bailey better be excited about seeing Randy Moss twice a year now – he certainly didn’t live up to his billing last year – that all pro choice was strictly on reputation last year………I need more time to thunk about Jake – that will come in a single thunk special…….Pre-season football is about to be all over my NFL Network – 55 games in 25 days – morning TV viewing is going to get better……

I know I am repeating myself from yesterday’s one off thunk but this bears repeating, The Living Water Church (www.lwcbuddlake.com) in Hackettstown, NJ had a bible study course last night entitled “Beverly Hillbillies Bible Study: Modern Parables as seen in the TV show” - I had to miss it but I do plan on attending “Sanford & Son Bible Study: The 10 Commandments as seen through the eyes of Fred G. Sanford” and “White Shadow Bible Study with Special Guest the Rev. Dr. Sports Guy – Bill Simmons”………it’s fun to drag your mouse through the water portion of their site too…

The MILF Morning Walker of the Year for 2004 has just won the award again for 2005………peppers and peas are in a slump but the beans and tomatoes are going nuts – new garden locations are being scouted for 2006

Thanks for the 5 minutes of your life that you will never get back – see Peabody and his pet boy, Sherman, for refunds

Remember, we will soon be switching from a tight man to man to a loose zone……

Thursday, July 28, 2005

The Living Water Church in Hackettstown, NJ is having a class tonight called "Beverly Hillbillies Bible Study" - modern parables as told through discussion and analysis of the TV show.....I myself am holding out for next month's "Sanford & Son Bible Study" - the 10 Commandments as interpreted by Fred G. Sanford

Only 1 vulture on the building this morning and a couple of summer interns are missing.....

The chick in Shooter Jennings new video is HOT !!!

Is Nancy O'Dell from Access Hollywood pregnant ? I only see her early in the AM on Access MSNBC but the camera shots have all been head & shoulders shots only.....

Piazza likes the #6 hole in the order but the Mets can't lose 2 of 3 in Colorado.....

Broncos start training camp tomorrow and the NY Rangers signed their # 1 draft pick - sports are starting to look real good......

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Yesterday it was a brilliant lightning display in the swamp as I drove to work and this morning it was fog.......10 vultures on the edge of the building this morning when I parked - I don't remember seeing that many before.....

Watched about 30 minutes of "Point of No Return" with Bridget Fonda the other morning and it got me thunking, Jennifer Garner owes a lot of her success to this movie and what the hell has happened to Bridget Fonda ? Isn't time for her to make a comeback film with copious amounts of gratuitous sex and nudity ? I can only hope so............another favorite is making her way back to the screen this week (or so) - Diane Lane looks great in the spots for "Must Love Dogs".....

I have to admit, I have watched College Paintball Championships on early morning TV but this morning I drew the line and said no to watching College Ultimate Frisbee - good thing I was able to catch the 4,653rd airing of the latest"Girls Gone Wild" commercial instead.....

"Empire" ends tonight - classic summer trash tv....."I want to be a Hilton" is on too - so what - long since lost interest when this became less of a fish out of water thing and more of stupid tv games thing........much like I would never hire someone who was on "The Apprentice" I think it is very safe to say that I will never eat a restaurant owned by someone who was on "Hell's Kitchen".......thank you Game Show Network for your airings of the old episodes of "The Amazing Race" - I finally had to learn their channel #.......

The NHL is back and not too soon - good to see that Adam Graves is back with the Rangers in a coaching/scouting/relations role - time to get Mess to do the same thing. Next they need to re-sign Brian Leetch at any cost.......hate the shootout, like the no red line, like the rules on goalie handling of the puck and like the smaller pads - hate the shootout.....

Best way to stop Ricky Williams this year ? Throw a big fat bone on to the ground in front of him and watch him toss that football aside........Broncos training camp opens on Friday and I am wildly predicting 14-2 for now....I could be wrong since 15-1 is probably more likely....

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

No fog this morning except in my own head - overslept and didn't get my full workout - the car 21.57 mpg last tankful so price increases aren't huting me as bad as they should be..........there is always roadkill as I drive through the swamp but that possum I saw this morning really got creamed last night..........Rachel Ray may be the perfect woman - cute, funny, energetic and after you bang her, she will have a great meal ready for you in just 30 minutes.......hope the yanks enjoyed their 24 hours at the top - I don't think they will see it again this year......Piazza bats 6th - gets two hits and the Mets beat the Padres in 11 - keep it up Willie..........Salad, Empire, tape LOST and go to bed - tonight's riveting plan of action......

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

More fog this morning - both here at my desk and out on the road...........The vultures have moved down a levelon the building - I think they are starting to pick their targets.........Travis Henry is a very nice pick up by the Titans - he will fit will in a combo with Chris Brown........Happy Birthday Joe Torre - I can't see first place lasting with the pitching you don't have - just consider it a gift that neither the Sox or O's really want 1st place either........I spent yesterday commuting into and out of the City - I don't miss it........and could Kiran Chetry have looked any hotter this morning ? She made Robin Meade look like a librarian........

Monday, July 18, 2005

Drove to work this morning in a deep fog - both literally and figuratively.

Tiger Woods wins the British open by going wire to wire. I was actually surprised that he somewhat folded on Saturday when he played the round with Fat Montie. I really thought he would bury him right then and there but he didn't. Tiger is looking real good for the PGA next month - I'm sorry I won't be able to attend.

Had the intense displeasure of having to listen to the Yanks-Sawx game on the radio last night. Suzyn Waldman was getting so excited about Al Leiter that I swear she had to leave the booth in the 6th inning just to go finish herself off.

Boy is that ever an ugly picture to put into my own mind this early in the morning.....

The NY Post is running a contest to win "4 Nights in Paris" - I wonder how her fiance feels about that and whether they will have control of the inevitable video rights ???

Thursday, July 14, 2005

I have posted this elsewhere but the Royal Bankof Scotland has issued a Jack Nicklaus 5 pound note. Jack was always considered to be a "money" player and now he really is money. Makes you wonder who else could be considered for sports money. Joe Montana comes to mind for football cash though and argument could be building for Tom Brady based on recent history. Joe Namath proved to be "money" before Super Bowl III but is delivering on a guarantee enough? If it is, then Mark Messier deserves consideration in the realm of hockey cash but Wayne Gretzky may be the most money player in NHL history - from winning to helping the NHL print cash in the 80's - Bruce McNall should have saved some of that money too......Michael Jordan was certainly a money player down the stretch and the people of New England (and French Lick) would argue that Larry Bird deserves the nod but maybe with all those game winning 3's he seems to hit in the playoffs, Robert Horry should be considered. In baseball there are plenty of players stealing money and quite a few who have enough to be their own bank but I can't think of anyone who was always bank.

Saw a heron stab a frog this morning as I crept through the swamp stuck behind a landscaping truck - I almost miss the school buses.

"I want to be a Hilton" has become a bore but the social elite of NYC are finding great humor in it according to Page Six

the summer repeats of "Lost" have been must viewing and even better now that you know the backstories of the characters - you can see the clues and the paths that the writers were leaving and leading us down. Sawyer still is the best character on the show with Sun and Kate as close seconds.

Time to print the NFL Schedules and time to get back to work......

Drop the puck - I have a train to catch !!!!

Thursday, July 07, 2005

The Kenny Rogers All-Star situation really shows everything that is wrong with baseball these days – at least to me. Here you have a player who gets suspended for 20 games and fined $50,000 for attacking a cameraman. He then gets named to the All-Star team and more than likely triggers a bonus clause in his contract that will now cover the cost of the fine. I hope that the people of Detroit boo him off the field when he gets introduced and that Bud Selig gets another “black eye” from it all. Not that baseball will really care…………..along the All-Star front – no Cliff Floyd ? And Beltran and Piazza are starters ? I’m not one to advocate taking the vote away from the fans but maybe an IQ test is in order before they should allow some of the fans to vote…….the Home Run Derby should be fun this year with no “juice” for the players – the winner might have what - 6 HR’s ?????

The NBA Draft did not disappoint – my favorite moment was listening to first Dickie V and then Stephen A. Smith kill the league for picking soft young Euro players over the remaining UNC players that were still available – and all of this over a public address system so all could hear – do you think that David Stern wanted to go yank a plug or two as they ranted away ?????..........I was a little disappointed in the fashion statements made – I see more color & flair here in my office – especially from the dude I saw getting coffee this morning in white bucks…………and does anyone know where I can get a Stuart Scott to English – English to Stuart Scott Dictionary ????? BooYah !

Is there anyone out there that isn’t siding with Brooke Shields in her whole “War of the Words” with psycho Tom Cruise ?...... in a related matter, the Page Six hinted the other day that a certain action star has signed his new “fiancĂ©” to a 5 year $10m deal and that she is doing the best acting job of her career….wonder who they could be ???

Tonight on “Being Bobby Brown”, Bobby meets the Dalai Lama and hilarity ensues……..it should be almost as funny as Kathy Hilton telling a contestant on “I want to be a Hilton” that she needs to “tone down the sexuality” if she wants to make it in high society – this advice coming from the mother of Paris Hilton…….”Empire” is some classic summer mini-series trash but well worth taping if you want an hour or so of mindless viewing – guaranteed that by the end of the 6 hours the cute Vestal Virgin is no longer Vestal……..

It’s summer time and the vultures have returned to Berkeley Heights, NJ – nothing says Good morning when you walk into work like a bunch of Vultures perched on the edge of the building watching you…….

I don’t know which is more pathetic, the fact that Fox Sports Atlantic was showing a rebroadcast this morning of the 2004 Boston Market Bowl Before the Bowl game between the Miami Gardens Chargers and the Pembroke Pines Bengals 100-115 pound youth football teams or that I was actually watching it. For those who care, Miami Gardens had an awesome defensive stand stopping Shaquille Kearse on the 1 yard line with 6 seconds to go and then won the game 14-6 in the first OT……in a related note, only 63 days until the Patsies play the raidazz in the first game of the 2005 season………and Tim Brown signed a one day deal with the raidazz in order to retire – funny, based on his performance last year, I thought he had already retired……and can someone put this idea into jerry rice’s head for me ?

Made Mango Chipotle Spicy Ice Cream recently – spicy, creamy and cool all at one time – served it with Blueberry Cake – I must say it was awesome – a friend of mine in restaurant business told me it sounded great but it would never sell if I put it on the menu – guess it would fit better in the Latin marketplace…..and seeing that it is blueberry season here in NJ, I will be making some Blueberry Corn Muffins this weekend……

Rumor has it that the NHL and the NHLPA have come to an agreement – it’s only about a year too late – I may forgive the lockout and I will go back to the games but I will never forget the greed of the players and the idiocy of the whole thing – the minor league hockey I went to the past year was great and I plan on going back again

Went to the Women’s Match Play Championships at Hamilton Farm this past weekend. Annika Sorenstam is so smooth. She was hitting shots at the range that were all 200 yards and all were landing within a 6 foot radius – all while talking to her caddy. Too bad her putter went stone cold in the quarterfinals. Also caught Natalie Gulbis on the practice range – wow – she is good and hot – with that Kathleen Turner raspy voice that just makes you want to……..looking forward to the tourney again next year.

There are not too many pleasant surprises to be had in the office during the workday but the unexpected partial glimpse of a red satin thong has to be one of them……especially when it is on someone that you never thought would wear one…….

How can the French be upset that they were snubbed in favor of London for the 2012 Olympic Games – the French have been snubbing the rest of the world for years

That’s it for today – Free Katie !!!

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

The NBA draft is upon us so now is as good a time as ever to subject you all to a few thunks about it and other less than important topics…….I hope that the kids in the Green Room don’t disappoint us stylistically like last year’s crop of draftees……it always fun watching the final player in the green room too – at that point even getting picked by the Clippers is better than having the TNT cameras in your face……. do you think that Andrew Bogut knows how to spell S-A-M-B-O-W-I-E ???.....if there is any team out that is more likely to screw up their pick than the Clippers, the Knicks could be that team…..it would not surprise me in the least to see Zeke make some dumbazz trade that saddles this team with even more deadweight contracts and big name busts – Madison Square Garden has become the same Elephant’s Graveyard of Former NBA All Stars that it has been for the NY Rangers for years……..the NBA players straightened out their labor deal a whole lot faster than the NHL players have yet to do – I guess the spectre of having to pay multiple child support payments scared them into settling…….when and if the NHL ever comes back, they will have a lot of explaining to do with the dumb comments about the fans that have come spewing from idiots like Jeremy Roenick – face it Jeremy, you make a lot more money than all of us, you play a game, we pay way to much to see you play that game and we resent the fact that you felt like we owed you more – poker gets higher ratings on ESPN than the NHL……..I want to be a Hilton is on tonight – Paris & Nicky make an appearance and the rednecks and goobers all get to go party at the Polo matches in the Hamptons – good trainwreck television if you ask me – I wonder if Paris will give them advice on how to look your best when seen through night vision lenses……speaking of more reality TV – Whitney and Bobby have their show debut this Thursday night at 10pm on Bravo – I really wish they still lived in Mendham so I could see them at the Black Horse Inn getting hammered just like they used to in the old days – again this has the potential to be trainwreck TV……the 2 days of rain really made the swamp smell “great” on my ride in to work – more roadkill than usual too……..not that I was going to see “War of the Worlds” before Tom Cruise flipped out but now I won’t even rent it when it hits the dollar bin – I am sure that he gets some of the gross which he then gives to the Church of Scientology and I don’t want even a dime of my cash to line their pockets…..I hope Katie Holmes is getting paid an awful lot of money for the acting job she is doing right now…….George has summoned the yankee brass to Tampa – I wonder who is going to wake up tomorrow with a horse’s head in their bed ???.........Cliff Floyd is getting jobbed in the All Star voting – like anyone cares……..72 days until Randy Moss and the Raiders get killed in the NFL opener – football training camps can’t open soon enough…….early morning TV is getting pretty bad if I am forced to watch Frontier League Baseball games…….where has Erica Hill been and I am slowly starting to fall for Robin Meade…..beefmasters, supersonics, sweet cheery 100’s and lemon boy tomatoes are all coming in nicely – so are the Hungarian wax peppers and the Caribbean red Hots……..Miss America is going to CMT – will she need to trade in her diamond tiara for Minnie Pearl’s straw hat ?????.....Lindsay Lohan is upset with Disney for downsizing her likeness in the Herbie: Fully Loaded ads – I can’t imagine why Disney would not want a wafer thin bleach bottle blonde club hopping party girl out front advertising a family film ?????........how many baseball players would be willing to skip their all-star bonus this year to not play in Detroit ???.......Maria Sharapova is fun to watch play tennis – and she is good too…….first the leaders blow up in the Men’s US Open at Pinehurst in the final round and then the leaders blow up the Women’s US Open at Cherry Hills the following week…..hope to get to see the Women’s World Match Play Championships at Hamilton Farms this weekend – I would love to see former Pleasanton resident Paula Creamer steal this one – she is going to be good for a long time to come……..caught the finale of the Next Food Network Star and I have to say that I would not watch either of the finalists they chose – the judges obviously did not pick by personality or talent – they picked by the demographic that is missing on the Food Network – as far as I am concerned, the whole contest was a farce…….does anyone out there believe that Phil Jackson came back to the Lakers for any reason other than the money ? I didn’t think so…….listening to Tony Parker rap in French was almost as scary as watching Brent Barry dance…..the voices of Tigger and Piglet both passed away within hours of each other – as Pooh would say, “Oh Bother”………the quality of joggers and dog walkers at 7am is far superior to the joggers and dog walkers at 6:40am – I may need to leave the house a little bit later in the morning………and I still am in awe that Rachel Ray actually posed for FHM back in October 2003 (thank you google)……..

That it’s for me today – may there always be a beautiful babe to squeeze your lime……

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

I am so ashamed of myself - 35 minutes in and I am absolutely hooked on "I want to be a Hilton" - more on this later....

OK - I'm back and I am still ashamed of myself. Central casting could not have done a better job in picking a cross section of stereotypes if they tried. Whoever was responsible for the casting should make damn sure that they have this show listed front & center on their resume. These people are tasteless and clueless - and I am not just talking about the Hiltons - I loved it when the british chick who dances in Vegas almost started crying when she heard her name finally called. What was the deal with Miss Tampa singing her lines ??? The guys are all guidos or hicks and Alain, the dude who got the boot, seriously looked like a serial killer when his name was not called. I feel real sorry for his gay lover tonight - look for Alain's suicide attempt in the NY Post any day now......and why give them a limo ride after they get kicked off "the island" ? They should be given a subway token or a one swipe metro card and pointed towards the D Train.

Kathy Hilton was so bad that she was awesome. She makes Paris look like an actress by comparison. There is no doubt in my mind that there is a sex tape out there with her in it - the years of alcohol, parties, drugs and surgery have treated her well - it's no wonder her daughters are the way that they are - I love this woman. I also love the number of single camera shots of her reciting her lines - she was wooden & stiff and you know she screwed up more than her fair share of lines.

This may not be "appointment TV" but it will get taped for the rest of it's run.

Monday, June 13, 2005

I believe that I owe an apology to Kevin McBride and to Tomato Cans everywhere - though Kevin McBride's nose at the end of the fight was as red as Ed McMahon's after a 3 day bender and he was just as coherent too. Mike Tyson has finally run his course and anyone who is willing to shell out even a buck to see him fight should be ashamed of themselves. Tyson was something special back in the late 80's when he tore through a weak heavyweight division. I will never forget the look of terror in Trevor Berbick's eyes as he realized that he was in the ring with Iron Mike and that he didn't stand a chance. A deer in a the headlights of an oncoming 18 wheeler has a more confident look on it's face. I will also never forget the night in 1990 when Tyson fumbled on the canvas looking for his mouthpiece and Buster Douglas "shocked the world". That Mike Tyson, the ear chewing, nonsense spewing, tattooed face Tyson is the fighter most people will always remember him to be. What a waste of a talent - what a waste of career - what a waste of a life.

Saturday, June 11, 2005

My only Hole in One turned 10 years old today - I haven't come closer than 10 feet since...

Thursday, June 09, 2005

So does Mike Tyson think that if he sticks around boxing long enough the public will start to love him like we did George Foreman ? Calling the Irish Heavyweight Champion a tomato can is an insult to tomato cans everywhere.......Kelly Clarkson does not look good with blonde hair but it does take your eyes away from her rather large butt......Game 1 of the NBA Finals is on and I am not watching.......Toby Keith's new tune "As Good As I Ever Was" is a great song - loved it when he sang it live to the troops in Iraq during the CMA's but he looked drunk when he sang it on Leno - still sounded as good as it ever was (bada bump).....a 7th season of the Soprano's ???......the quality of the joggers in the early morning has definitely gone up on drive to work since college got out for the summer......survived another week in Fantasy Golf last week when I should have been going home - just plain lucky......Jimmie Johnson should repeat at Pocono - at least my Fantasy Nascar teams hope he does.....still haven't seen a movie come out this year that is worth $100 to see......."Jeremiah Johnson" is an underrated western but I may have said that before......the more I see her, the more I like MSNBC's Kristine Johnson - and who took away Robin Meade's excessive makeup kit over at CNN Headline News ? I want to shake their hand - Robin no longer looks like she should be reading the news while swingning from a pole......David Wright is the real deal, Cliff Floyd was the best trade the Mets didn't make this winter and the yankees still suck......just 91 days until the Pats beat on Randy Moss and the NFL Season starts......later

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Randy Johnson sure looks like he was worth all that $$$ that Steinbrenner has paid him......Yanks are 0-21 in games in which they have scored 3 runs or less......The "Queer Eye" guys threw out the first pitch at Fenway the other day and Brian Cashman was said to be in the crowd with a radar gun......93 days until opening kickoff for the NFL just in case you were wondering.......who are the idiots who are making reservations at Hell's Kitchen and how many of them are wannabe actors trying to get some face time for their "loop" ???.....91 Days until the DVD of "LOST" Season 1 comes out just in case you were wondering.......No Triple Crown Threat this weekend at the Belmont makes this a very irrelevant horse race.......are they still playing the French Open ????.......went to the Crawfish Festival this weekend - I need to make some crawfish pie........cherry tomatoes have started flowering and so have my Caribbean Hot Peppers - my beans & peas are behind schedule and I think I need to get a pot of Roma Tomatoes for the back deck......NBC is cutting the price on it's ad rates for next year - shouldn't they be paying people to watch "Joey" ????........Spurs vs Pistons - be still my heart - I will probably fall over if either team scores 100 points in a game during the finals......and finally, Congrats to the 2005 Kelly Cup Champs - your TRENTON TITANS !!!!

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

My first comment comes on the back of a throwaway thunk about Paris Hilton.....

A thunk back to last weekend and the Yanks-Sox series - do you thunk Billy Martin is spinning in his grave right about now - the Sox plunked Jeter again and yet again the yanks did nothing in retaliation - they are gutless and should all join AROD on Dr. Phil's couch.......didn't see the film clip from Tom Cruise's appearance on "Oprah" and I really wish I had - he has completely lost it - I'm glad I don't waste anymore of my $$$ on his movies........saw some of the replay of the Div III Championship Lax game between Middlebury & Salisbury this morning during my workout - what a great game - too bad my Panthers gacked at the end - that Div I championship game between Hopkins & Duke was fun to watch too - Lax is the sport of the future - the fact that you now see lax sticks on the beaches is a sure sign

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

So Paris is engaged to marry Paris - I guess we can all look forward to the Honeymoon Video - coming to a website near you......

and can Paris actually wear white for her wedding ? Wouldn't red be a more appropriate color ?
It took more than a week but someone in my office finally noticed that I have new glasses......I cannot begin to tell you how offended I am by the fact that "The Longest Yard" remake made $60m this past weekend - this is a movie that never needed to be re-made.....I actually tried to watch the original on regular TV the other night but that is one of those movies that just can't be watched on regular TV........Danica Patrick sure looks like the real goods - on & off the track.......can the Spurs pull a yankees and lose 4 straight after being up 3-0 against the Suns ??? - Amare's block of Duncan's dunk was highlight keeper material......17-1 ? When the yankees get a chance to kick a Rouge ????

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Ever since I started picking on the Yankees they have been winning so you won’t hear another word about them from me…..for now……the same old Mets, can’t beat the Yankees and can’t beat the Braves – they better show some heart down in Florida this weekend or you can stick a fork in them………Carrie beats Bo in the AI Final – no real surprise there – my favorite moment from the whole season was Bo’s reaction when the AI producers surprised him with 2 of the remaining members of Lynrd Skynrd – his face was like “Who are these really old dudes in my hotel room ?????”……I haven’t watched my tape of “The Contender” Finale but I did read Bill Simmons excellent real time diary of the fight and it was hilarious – no surprise at all that Sergio “The Latin Snake” Mora took the Contender Title Belt and the $1m check…….I hope the City of Denver has the money in the budget for the cleanup of the tickertape they are going to need in February now that Jerry Rice has signed with the Broncos – I realize that Mike Shanahan once coached Jerry Rice in SF but that was a long time ago and a lot of lost talent ago……….still haven’t seen the new Stars Wars flick – don’t hold your breath waiting for me to see it either………..Lindsay Lohan looked terrible on SNL – she seems to be channeling Paris Hilton more and more – someone needs to do an intervention – maybe feed her one of those Carl’s Jr Spicy BBQ $6 Burger that Paris is pretending eat in her new commercial – speaking of Paris, is that just another pathetic attempt at keeping the clock ticking at 14:59 or what ????.................Dwyane Wade may not know how to correctly spell his name but he sure can take you to school – has Shaq ever had a better wingman ? No offense to Kobe & Penny but they were just talented selfish schmucks who never appreciated the big man in the middle………..A mild surprise that Phoenix lost the opening 2 games at home in their series with San Antonio – I guess they miss Joe Johnson more than I thought they would – Phoenix does have the best road record in the NBA this year but the Spurs have the best home record – I guess something will have to give there……..No disappointment at all in the “LOST” finale last night – some questions answered, more questions asked, we now know who the comic book belonged to, September can’t get here soon enough…….I really suck at Fantasy Baseball but I don’t suck as much as Jeff Gordon did singing “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” the other night – Wrigley Stadium ? A cheat sheet with the words ???? Please go back to turning left at high speeds now……….caught myself singing Cowboy Troy’s Hick Hop hit “I played Chicken with the Train” this morning…………dusted off the clubs recently and played 2 good rounds back to back – it’s only a matter of time before all of my old bad habits come back and my game goes to hell – it is fun being able to make a putt….for now……..Tara Reid has signed on as the new host of “Wild On” – I guess my prediction of Playboy by November is now almost a certified lock as each of the previous hostesses has done the same………the mighty Trenton Titans have taken a 2-0 lead over the Florida Everblades in the Kelly Cup Finals – I will take my hockey wherever I can get it these days……the best part of my daily commute is the 7.2 mile stretch where I have no cell phone service – 11 minutes of no chance of a call………….Gatorade Mango Electrico and Tropical Intenso are my 2 new favorite flavors – Que Sabor !!!!.................sorry Dad but the Minnesota Vikings are now my second favorite team in the NFL and when does football start anyway ? It’s never soon enough…….

That’s it for me – I’m out like a fat kid playing dodgeball

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

A couple of quick thunks - last night a pseudo southern rocker and a wannabe country pop star went at it on the American Idol finale - two genres of music the producers have not tapped into during the previous 3 competitions - neither one impressed me all that much - Bo sounds like Curtis Stigers but Carrie finally let a crack show in her robotic veneer during her final song and that small bit of honest emotion (along with a serious power note) may have been enough for Country Barbie to pull off a win..........tonight is the 2 hour season finale of LOST - don't call my house while it is on - I won't answer - I can't help but think that the ship will come aground back on the island and the Johnny Depp and the skeleton crew of the Black Pearl will come pouring out of the Ghost Ship - September looks like a long ways away right now..........after seeing Milwaukee get the #1 pick in the NBA draft lottery, how many potential # 1 picks are now hoping that they are #2 ?.......did not see the Contender finale last night due to a meeting - don't tell me who won.......is there a less relevant or watchable Tennis Grand Slam than the French Open ? Oh yeah, I forgot about the Australian Open......got to get back to work

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Some CMA thunks coming right at ya - Gretchen Wilson looks like that girl at the last call at the end of the bar that can hurt you in oh so many ways.......what was up with the new streaks in Sara Evans hair ???? And could she have smiled at least once last night ????.....Big & Rich got robbed for Top Vocal Duo and so did Montgomery Gentry........Toby Keith was awesome from Iraq - I dug on that tune and need to find it right away - in a related note, my kids love "Talk About Me" - I have to crank it in the car........Lee Ann Womack is one healthy woman and I ain't complaining.......speaking of women not smiling - Miranda Lambert must have been real nervous last night - she was on TV about 6000 times and I didn't see her smile once.....I guess I need to order me some Keith Urban - I didn't know he was that good......looks like it's time for Garth brook to cut back on the moon pies and get himself back out onto the road.....and did Kenny Chesney already forget he was married ??? Not even a shout out to his new bride.......good show but then the country music awards shows usually are

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Too much going on these days not to grace you all with my unsolicited thunks…….the last time I ragged on Mike Piazza he went on a tear so let me be the first to say that your mama dresses you funny and your grandma wears army boots……..I’m not sold on the Yankees 9 game winning streak – they have to beat someone other the A’s and the Mariners (like Tampa Bay) before I will take them seriously – Carl Pavano pitches tonight so the streak should be over soon – I hope……….Ian showed his naivete and his lack of brains when he made his deal with Tom during the final immunity challenge on Sunday night’s Survivor Finale – does he really think that Tom or Katie will even recognize him on the street in another year ????.......Katie looked to be channeling Jenna Lewis with her makeover on Sunday night – now I guess we will have to wait and see how soon before her sex tape hits the internet……..to the editors of Maxim, Stuff, FHM and Playboy - Jenn, Steph, Katie, Ashlee and Kim are all waiting for their calls……..The Trenton Titans have pulled off a Game 7 upset of the Alaska Aces in the ECHL Kelly Cup Conference Finals and now move on to the face the Florida Everblades……..The Rally Cow Returns on June 21 – NJ Cards baseball is back and there is no better place to watch a game with a family – the baseball sucks but the atmosphere is great……….Sergio Mora vs Jesse Brinkley should have been the Contender finale but it will still make a great semi-final match-up this Sunday night…….The CMA Awards could potentially hurt Carrie Underwood tonight in American Idol – she’s good but she would have been out early if she had been on Nashville Star…….Does anyone know when the next Star Wars movie is coming out ? I couldn’t find anything about it on the internet……….these are my 5am television viewing thoughts – Dean Martin as Matt Helm was nowhere near as good as Sean Connery as James Bond but he sure was better than the latter day Roger Moore – Ann Margaret was smoking in the 1960’s and would be painfully hot today – she had curves that today’s coked up party girl club hopping wannabe starlets will never have – Kiran Chetry can wear her leather pants to do the news any morning she wants to – The Lost World was a very underrated bad TV show, thank you TNT for sneaking in the odd showing every now and then for me – why isn’t Xena on some random channel in the middle of the night and whatever happened to the actress who played Gabrielle ????.........Newsweek essentially killed 17 people with it’s Qoran report this week – “We’re sorry” just doesn’t cut it- I’m no journalist and I don’t play one on TV but if you are going to go to press with a story like that using just one unconfirmed source you might as well just change the name of the magazine to Weekly World News or The Star………is it possible for Nicolette Sheridan to wear any tighter or smaller clothes than she is already wearing on Desperate Housewives ? I’m not complaining and I will keep researching this for all of you……..Do you think that Tom Cruise’s kids have told Katie Holmes that they loved watching her on Dawson’s Creek ???...........has an over/under been set on the Kenny Chesney/Rene Zellweger marriage yet ?............how much do Pacers and Pistons fans hate the Wizards for giving Shaq another 8 days off before the conference finals…..the Phoenix Suns are in trouble if Steve Nash is scoring 48 points in a game – he should be dishing, not swishing…….I obviously know nothing about horse racing based on my pick of Bandini in the Kentucky Derby (19th out of 20) but I have to like the local horse, Malibu Moonshine, this Saturday in the Preakness…….Hungarian Wax Peppers, Sugar Snap Peas, purple bell peppers and Yellow Tomatoes are the new additions to this years vegetable garden – look for updates in the coming weeks

That’s it for now – the delete key is in the upper right hand corner of your keyboard if you haven’t hit it already